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She watches me, her eyes not giving away how she’s feeling. I’ll be okay with whatever she decides because she’s already agreed to marry me, but I’m ready now. I’d marry her in the next ten minutes if she gave me the go-ahead. And not just to prove to her that I’m sticking around, but because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.
35
I can’t believe I’m even considering this. It’s crazy. It’s insane.
And yet…
I want to do it. I want to say yes and marry this man today. I want to be wild and reckless and do something just for me without thinking about anyone else for once in my life. I know my family might be upset, but we can hold a big reception to celebrate with them later.
This would just be about me and Trent.
Why can’t we get married today? I love him, he loves me. I trust him, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone, and I’m already committed to him. Why not make it official?
“Okay.”
His eyes widen, and his mouth twitches like he’s fighting back a smile. “Okay? Like, okay, you’ll marry me today?” He sounds giddy which only makes me more confident in my answer.
“I’ll marry you today.”
He moves quickly until his lips are brushing against mine, and he’s kissing me like he owns me, which I guess he does.
“I want Elise there.”
He nods his head, like he was expecting me to say that. “And I want to go out and buy a white dress.”
“Okay. I’ll organize everything else with the hotel concierge, and we’ll have a sunset wedding.”
He gives me a dazzling smile, and from the strain on my cheeks I can tell that it matches my own. We’re crazy, but at least we’re crazy together.
* * *
“You’re what?” Elise shrieks.
“I’m getting married. Tonight.”
“Are you insane?”
“Possibly. I mean, this is crazy, right?”
“Uh, yeah!” she says, looking at me like I’ve grown three heads.
I pace back and forth in front of where she sits on the edge of her bed, her jaw hanging open and her eyes wide. “This is totally unlike me, but it also feels right, ya know?”
“No, I don’t because this is crazy!”
I stop my pacing and grab her hands. “I love him. I love him so much more than I ever knew was possible, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, so why wait? Why do we have to do what’s socially acceptable and wait a specified amount of time before officially starting our lives together? Why can’t we just decide and jump?”
Her mouth opens and closes several times before her shoulders drop. “You’re right.”
“I am?” I say, surprised she agreed with me so easily with how opposed she seemed to this only a few minutes ago.
She nods. “If you’re sure. You have to be sure though. Marriage is a big deal.”
“I know it’s a big deal, and I’m one hundred percent sure.”
She nibbles her lip like she’s nervous, her eyes darting down to the carpet and then back to me before she finally steadies her gaze and asks softly. “This isn’t because of what happened today with Dad, is it? This isn’t some knee-jerk reaction to avoid dealing with the fact that our father turned out to be an even bigger asshole than we already suspected?”
I sit down next to her. “I’ll admit seeing him today has probably had some impact on my decision, but mainly because he helped me see that a lot of things I’ve been blaming myself for all my life were never my fault. His leaving wasn’t my fault. Seeing Dad gave me answers that I didn’t completely know I’d been looking for. So part of this is definitely from seeing him, but it’s not a knee-jerk reaction. I’ve known Trent most of my life, and when our friendship started back up again, it felt like no time had passed from when we’d been friends before. We clicked, instantly. It was like we were meant to find each other that day and be in each other’s lives. We might’ve messed it up for a while, but that time apart showed us what the other person really means to us—at least it did for me, and based on things Trent’s said, it did the same for him.
