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Her dad comes out on the back porch. “Paige, honey. We’re going to leave in about 10 minutes, okay?”
She speaks quietly, “Okay, dad.”
I feel like my insides are trying to claw their way out of my body.
“I can’t stand this,” I murmur, and then I lean in and kiss her hard. I twine my fingers in her hair and deepen the kiss, holding her as close to me as I possibly can. Everything is right in the world when we’re together.
Why does she have to leave? I hate this so much. I pull away to look at her and see tears streaming down her face.
“I love you so much, Jack. Please don’t give up on us. I need you.”
I pull her close to me, hugging her tight. “I need you, too. I won’t give up. I’m sorry about the other night. I was stupid. We’ll make it work, okay? You’ll call me as soon as you get to Chicago and then we’ll make a plan. I promise. I love you. It’s all going to work out, okay?”
She nods, and I kiss her again before reluctantly pulling away. We stand up, hands clasped together tightly, and I walk her out to the front.
Everything is packed and ready to go.
It feels so surreal.
I glance over to Paige and see tears still streaming down her face. It’s killing me right now that I can’t fix this. As it is, I’m barely holding myself together. I turn her toward me and use my thumbs to brush her tears away.
“None of that, okay? This isn’t goodbye forever. It’s just goodbye for now. Paige,” I make sure she’s looking me right in the eyes. “You’re my best friend…my everything. Never forget that. You’re stuck with me forever, okay?”
She takes a deep breath and nods. With one final kiss and a whispered “I love you,” she’s shuffled into the car, and they drive away. I stand there on their lawn like a statue frozen in place until they round the corner.
That’s when I lose it.
I sink to the grass, my arms draped across my bent knees, and hang my head. I can feel the tears as they stream down my face. I know I’m supposed to be tough and manly, but right now, I don’t give a shit. I just had to watch the girl I love drive away to another state thousands of miles away. I don’t even know when we’ll see each other again.
I now realize Paige was right. We should’ve made a plan before she left. I feel gutted and empty; the pressure in my chest is immense. I’ve never felt this awful before.
Once I pull myself together enough to drive, I head straight home and go to my room. I know my parents saw me, but they have the decency to give me some space to sort through my feelings. My dad eventually knocks on my door to check on me, but I get him to leave me alone. I’m not really in the mood to talk to anyone.
I’m lying on my bed, waiting for sleep to claim me when my phone dings with a text.
Paige: I miss you.
My chest constricts, and I feel that burning sensation in the back of my throat and eyes. God, I miss her so much. I want to hold her more than anything else right now.
Me: I miss you, too. Where are you guys? Did you stop for the night?
Paige: Yeah. We made it to Ogden, Utah. It’s boring. We’re getting up early to continue the drive, but I can’t sleep.
Me: Me either.
Paige: We’re going to get through this, right, Jack?
Me: Yeah. We’ll get through this.
We have to get through this. I’m not sure I know how to live without Paige in my life.
Fifteen
Me: Have a great last day of school. Are you all packed for your visit? I can’t wait to see you! I love you! <3
Jack: Thanks babe. I’m counting down the minutes until I get to see you. I love you, too. :)
My heart is so full right now. Jack will be here in two days, and I can’t wait to see him. Jack and I have both struggled since my move, but we’ve made it work like we promised we would. We still talk or Skype every night. He booked a flight out here as soon as we were settled, and I’ve been counting down the days on my calendar. It’s easier knowing when we’ll see each other again.
