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18
“I might kill Miles Tallon if he doesn’t make a move tonight.”
Rikki laughs like I’m kidding.I’m not.
We’ve been on several dates since our first date two weeks ago and not once has he done anything more than give me a peck on the lips at the end of the night.No hand-holding, no flirty touches to my back, no passionate kisses that leave me breathless, nothing.The characters onBridgertonare getting more action than I am—and that’s before they even get married.
It’s driving me crazy.
If our first kiss hadn’t been so explosive, I’d start to question if he was gay, or maybe just not into me and not sure how to break things off.But there’s no denying the hefty bulge I’ve seen in his pants every time we’ve gone out.
Every.Single.Time.
Andstill, he doesn’t make a move.
What’s a girl got to do to get some action?Three weeks ago, I didn’t think I’d say something like that, but at this point I feel like I might combust if he doesn’t touch me soon.I’m starting to wonder if he’s intentionally torturing us both.Maybe that’s one of his kinks?I don’t know because I’ve been too afraid to take the conversation in that direction.We’ve talked about practically everything but sex or what he likes.
If he’s doing it on purpose to get me out of my head when it comes to being physical sexually, it might be working.I was able to touch myself last night.It only worked as long as I thought of him, but the thought of his touch—and the feeling of pleasure from me touching myself—wasn’t terrifying.I ached for it, for the potential release.I wasn’t able to climax, but it still felt good, and I wasn’t abruptly ripped from my fantasy by the vision of crystal-blue eyes.
It's the first time I’ve had a positive experience masturbating since I was fifteen, and it’s given me something I thought was useless.
Hope.
Now if only I could get him to make a move and see how far I can push this new physical freedom.
“Tonight has to be the night because he’s making me dinner at his place.Isn’t inviting a woman over the universal sign that you want to take things to the next level?”I ask Rikki as she stands behind me fiddling with my hair.
“Usually, but then again I didn’t expect Miles to be quite so patient.”
“Maybe all the rumors about him are lies and he’s really a virgin or something.”
She meets my gaze in the mirror, her face giddy at the idea.“Could you imagine the women who would fall all over themselves to take that man’s v-card?”
Millions.But it’s me he’s spending time with.It’s become even harder to hide our attraction when we’ve been in the studio together, but I’m not ready for my dad to know I’m dating one of his rock stars.Especially after all the lectures he’s given me over the years to not date guys in the industry.
“God, why am I freaking out about this?”
She places her hands on my shoulders in a soothing, reassuring gesture.“Because this is a big deal for you.For the first time in as long as I can remember, you have feelings for a guy.And more than that, you’re actually interested in getting physical with him.That’s huge, which means it’s justified that you’re feeling overwhelmed and freaking out a little bit.It’s normal and you should cut yourself some slack.”
“What if he doesn’t make a move tonight?”
“Then why don’t you make one?”
I look at her like she just grew three heads.“You can’t be serious.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Um, because I’mme?”
She frowns.“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I pick at my fingernails, chipping the edges of the day-old pink paint.“I’m not a dominant person—not by any stretch of the imagination.Not even before…I’ve always let others take the lead and honestly, I like it that way.I deal with enough on my plate, so it’s nice not having to make the big decisions or take charge.I expected Miles to be the kind of guy who takes the lead.”
“Why?He’s easily the chillest guy in the band, and he doesn’t even take the lead in interviews.”She leans down, her lips near my ear.“Trust me, I’ve watched aridiculousamount of Rapturous Intent interviews—for research purposes, of course.”
“Of course,” I say with a laugh.
“But seriously, I don’t get why you think he’d be the take-charge kind of guy.”
