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21
Miles breezes into my condo, all confidence and sex appeal in his faded jeans that fit his sculpted ass beautifully and a navy blue T-shirt, his long hair cascading past his shoulders.In his hand, he carries a duffle bag.
“What’s in the bag?”
He smiles at me as he leans down to kiss me, but doesn’t say anything.When he pulls away, I wrap my hand around his neck and pull him back to kiss him again, deeper.He groans and then the bag makes a thud as it hits the ground, and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me flush with his body.His tongue slides along the seam of my lips and I part them on a sigh, giving him full access and relishing how good it feels to have him touch me and kiss me.
It feels even better knowing it’s not causing any panic.My mind and body are for once in agreement that this is what we want.
Miles’s hands slide down my back until they grip my ass.He squeezes it at the same time he nibbles on my lip, and my clit throbs unexpectedly from the small bite of pain.I gasp in surprise and he pulls away, breaking the kiss and leaving us both breathing heavy.
“Okay?”he asks, squeezing gently again so I know what he’s asking.
I nod my head and say, “You bit my lip.”
He rests his forehead on mine and takes a deep breath.“Sorry.I got carried away.”
Running my fingers through his hair, I lean close to his ear and whisper, “Don’t apologize.It felt really good.”
He pulls away, his eyes wide but filled with glee.“You liked it?”
I nod my head, my lips curved in a coy smile and my eyes bright.
“Fuck, that’s hot.”
I laugh and then push him away, not wanting to get carried away too far when dinner is nearly ready.
“Seriously, what’s in the bag?”I ask as I make my way to the kitchen to stir the sauce and do the final touches for dinner.
“I had an idea.”
I glance back at him, my body both heating and tensing from the memory of the last time he had an idea.“Okay.”
“I want to take things slow with you.I never want you to feel like you have to do anything, but I also know you want to be physical with me.”
“Correct.”
“So, what if we do lessons,” he says, sticking his hands in his pocket.He almost looks…nervous.
“Lessons?”I ask, not quite sure what he means.“On what exactly?”I mean, sex is sex.
Right?
“Well, I was thinking we could start with touching.”
“That’s all?”I can’t hide the disbelief or disappointment from my voice, which only makes him laugh.
“Yes,nympho,” he says teasingly.“For tonight, at least.”
“You want to start tonight?”It’s possible I’m way too eager for this, but I’m impatient and desperate to see if he can help me get my body to finally give me that elusive release.
He nods, and the excitement between both of us is nearly palpable.
I might also be a little eager to try some of the techniques my therapist has given me to help me get out of my head.We did an exercise called EMDR—Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing—that was supposed to help alleviate the distress I felt whenever I relived that night three years ago.I was completely emotionally drained afterward, but it was surprisingly effective in helping me process the trauma of that night.Our follow-up sessions have been more productive than ever before, and we’ve come up with several strategies to help when I start to panic which will hopefully keep me from locking up.
Miles might be onto something with this idea of his, and it’ll allow me to try different strategies over time instead of all at once.I can give my body some grace and hopefully have a positive sexual experience with him—finally.
I push sexy time thoughts aside and focus on finishing dinner.We eat, the conversation flowing between us like it always does, and then clean the dishes together.I’ve never found doing dishes to be all that sexy—honestly, I find it to be the most tedious house chore—but doing it with Miles is a completely different experience.I have a dishwasher, but there’s something to be said for handwashing when I’m doing it with Miles.He makes it almost an erotic experience.The brush of his wet fingers as he hands me the dish to dry.The short, heated glances he sends my way in that split moment when our fingers touch.The heat of his body just inches from mine.All of it leaves me tingling and antsy to get to our first lesson.
