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“Do you think we should try talking to him about rehab again?It’ll put everything on the label’s radar, and I have no idea how Decker will take it if we can get him to go, but maybe it’s time to face the music.”
He shakes his head.“It’s probably a waste of time right now.He won’t listen to anyone.”He kicks at a pebble on the sidewalk.“I just wish I knew what was going on in that dense fucking head of his.What was it this time that triggered his relapse, and how the fuck are we going to stop it from happening again once we get him clean?”
This is one of the many things I love about Robbie.He’s an optimistic motherfucker.He’s not standing here saying we should wash our hands clean of Kasen’s mess like most managers would at this point.No, he’s trying to problem solve and figure out the root cause of Kasen’s problem.He’s focused onwhenhe’s clean, not if we can get him there.
I wish I had his kind of faith, his optimism.But my brother ruined that for me, and I’m worried Kasen’s going to follow in those same footsteps.The truth is I’ve been avoiding Kasen because I’m scared he’ll break my damn heart just like Jesse did.
But then something else Robbie said registers.“Wait, you said he’s never at his place?”
“Nope.And I’ve gone at different times trying to catch him there.He’s never home.I even asked one of his neighbors, but he hadn’t seen him in weeks.”
“So where the hell is he staying?”
“No fucking clue.He’s not staying with Trent and Becka, or Tristan.”
“Has anyone looked to see if he’s staying with Charli?”
“I would if I could find her,” he says, his voice filled with disgust.None of us like Charli, even less so now.“She must be using an alias wherever she’s staying, because there’s no one under the name Charli Taylor at any of the hotels around town or in the valley.I checked all the old haunts that we knew about and came up with diddly fucking squat.”He shrugs his shoulders back and rolls his neck again.“I’m considering hiring a PI to find her.”
His PI comment gives me an idea about finding the guy who hurt Tamsin, but I lock it away in the back of my mind and focus on the issue at hand.“Man, you know I love how much you care—and I care about him too—but you can’t be takin’ on his shit.I can tell you’re stressed out, but at some point we have to let go of his problems.He doesn’t want our help.He’s made that abundantly clear by pulling away from the band as much as he has.Some days I feel like we’re lucky he still bothers to show up to our recording sessions or band practice.”
“I know you’re right, but I also can’t just turn my back on him.He’s family, ya know?”
“Yeah, I get it.I do.But,”—I take a breath, hating that it’s even come to this—“at some point we might have to let him go.”
He doesn’t look at me, but I can practically see his whole body sag with the sadness that permeates the air at the knowledge that we’re getting to that point.Kasen either needs to get his shit together and go to rehab, or he’s going to have to leave the band.I’m not looking forward to when the time comes to give him that ultimatum, but I know it’s coming soon.
Just then the girls stop, both of them laughing about something, as they wait for us to catch up with them.Robbie takes a quick breath, pats me on the back, and then turns to his wife with a huge smile on his face.If I hadn’t been out here with him for the past few minutes, I would never know he’d been upset.
And for some reason that doesn’t sit well with me.How many other times has he put on a happy face when he’s been buried under the burden of the band’s problems?
