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CATHERINE
“One more for the gram,”Adrienne says, twisting her phone and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Lift it higher and make sure your finger isn’t covering the label.”
I adjust my fingers, the green and gold Zeal Energy name on the ice cold can unobstructed.
“Now smile like the first time you and Hunter kissed,” Adrienne directs, and I can’t stop the grin from growing on my face. Lost in thought, it barely registers when she clicks half a dozen photos. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve seen you smile that wide in years. I guess Hunter’s the real deal, huh?”
Her question throws me for another loop. “What?” I lower the energy drink to the picnic table. Adrienne scoots back to the other side of the table, leaning forward to stay in the shade of the table umbrella. She scoops up her roast beef sandwich and takes another bite.
She crunches on a salty potato chip before responding, “Every time you come home, and I quiz you about your love life, all you speak about is work or failed dates.” Her thin fingers dig deep into the bag, searching for a full unbroken chip. A look of patience and contentment spreads, and I know she’ll take her time and dig until she finds one to her liking. “I’m just happy to see you’ve finally met someone who can make you smile like this.”
It’s not realI want to scream. A wave of guilt rushes over me at maintaining this lie. Our sister time together is so rare and short and the last thing I should be doing is wasting it on deceit.
“Speaking of love life. What’s the deal with you and Lucas?” I kid her, seeking an escape. If my love life is fair game, so is hers.
“We’re just friends.” She swipes across her phone and flips it back to me. “Probably will be forever. I guess I’m okay with that.” Disappointment seeps through the words, which fail to hide the fact that she’s not okay with it. I freeze for a beat and remind myself not to jump in. I’m in no position to give advice, not when I’m living a lie right now.
Adrienne places the phone in my hand. A beautiful picture of the two of us. I’m holding the energy drink with a smile on my face as if I’m the happiest person on the planet.
“Wow, that came out beautifully.”
“I know, your little sis has some skills.” She laughs and takes back the phone. A tap and swipe and she speaks. “Thanks. You’ve just made me two hundred dollars.”
I shake my head still wrapping my head around the fact that my little sister is a social media influencer. “It can’t be that simple.”
“It’s not. Took me over a year to build up a following and a brand. My first sponsor paid me in t-shirts and leggings. I was over the moon with just getting free merch until I connected with other influencers. They schooled me on capitalism, my god I love how much this country is in love with money. Once I got a few viral videos on TikTok, things exploded. You’re not going to believe this, but Dad has over five thousand followers.”
My phone buzzes and I ignore it. “I still can’t believe you’ve got him dancing. In public. And online for the world to see. I barely recognize him these days.” My phone buzzes three more times. “Let me check this, it might be Hunter.” I twist and swipe. The screen fills with notifications. A list of names I don’t recognize are now following me on IG. “Don’t tell me you tagged me in that post?”
“I think you already know the answer to that question.” She leans away from my playful swing. “Remember the bike rentals are on me. I have a deal with the mountain shop, one post a month and I get free rentals and access to all the trails. I will need another shot of that gorgeous smile on a bike, better if you get your hot boyfriend to pose with you.”
“You think he’s hot?” Heat rushes to my cheeks before I can order it not to. I lower my chin to hide it. I turn my attention back to the phone, over forty new followers within the first two minutes of her post.
“Let’s just say Michael B. Jordan had better watch out. You chose well. He seems kind. You’ve learned.”
As much as I’d love to focus on the image of Michael B. Jordan in tight biker shorts, I have to address her last comment, the buried message unavoidable. “Is Palmer still being a dick?”
She avoids my gaze and a chill races through my body. “Most of the time I can ignore him but it’s like he’s set an alarm or something. If he hasn’t seen me in a few weeks, he makes it a point to come through the flower shop and ask about you.”
“Why can’t he move on?” I whisper more to myself.
Adrienne crumbles the rest of her sandwich into the wax paper. “Do you want to know what he told me?”
I know I shouldn’t bother; it will be some warped Palmer revisionist history but I need to hear it so the thoughts don’t fester in Adrienne’s head. I nod.
“He said you broke your promise to him.” Our gaze locks and I try to decipher what he could mean. “He said when he decided to move to Mesa to be with you, you told him you’d always be together.” She nibbles on her bottom lip, her eyes lowering to the tabletop. There’s more.
“He said he did everything you ever asked of him, but it wasn’t enough. You broke his heart and then told him you were moving away without him.”
“That’s not how it went.” I hear the bite in my words and quickly reach across the table to comfort my sister. I don’t want her to think anything related to my reaction is directed at her. She tilts her head and offers a soft it’s okay smile.
I push out a frustrated breath, not believing I’m still dealing with the fallout years later. Adrienne was away at college and didn’t have to see much of it first-hand. “I never asked him to move to Mesa.” I recall us going on a drive after a date and him turning the car into a residential rental cul-de-sac. A banner and balloons planted on a lawn, welcoming me. “He picked up from Scottsdale and moved on his own. Didn’t ask me and I certainly didn’t ask him.” My bitchiest tone echoes in the warm air and I realize I’m the one experiencing revisionist history. At the time, I was happy that he moved. It was an unexpected move because we were taking things slow. But I was impressed that he felt so good about our future that he couldn’t control himself. He didn’t just move, he quit his job even though the commute would have been just over thirty minutes. When he said it would give him an extra hour a day to spend with me, I took it as romantic yearning, not as a sign of underlying obsession.
Adrienne avoids my gaze and I know why. I can’t put everything on Palmer’s shoulders. I wasn’t a kid. I had dated before, should have known what I wanted in a man. I didn’t. At the time, I had no clue how many mixed signals I sent in his direction. I was as much to blame for our breakup, and I told Palmer all of this.
Adrienne pulls a large unbroken chip from the bag. She doesn’t acknowledge the reward; she doesn’t celebrate with a hard-earned nod or smile. For her, it’s just another day. She knows what she likes, works to get it, and moves on. I wish I had her perspective on life at that age.
“I thought I was in love with Palmer.” My admission causes Adrienne to lower her bag, her folded hands landing on the top of the table. Soft sympathetic eyes lock on me. “We were together for over two years.” Two years that seemed to go by in a blink of an eye at one point in time and slow as molasses dripping from a tree on the other. “No one can promise another person eternal happiness until they exchange vows. And even then, you will still need to work at it every day. Palmer and I were never on the marriage track. I doubt even after two years that I ever considered us on the serious track, he’ll disagree, of course. I enjoyed our time together, especially the early days, but deep down I always knew Palmer was not my guy.”
