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She cracks a smile, throwing an arm around me with her cheek smooshed in the pillow. “What time is it?”
“Almost noon.”
Her body flies up and her eyebrows hit her forehead. “Noon! We have to go. The Aarons family is using the cabin this weekend.”
“Calm down, Sleeping Beauty. I took care of it.”
She lifts a brow, grinning. “What do you mean you took care of it?”
I slide down the headboard, lying on my side to face her. “Put in a call and told them the sewer was backed up. The cabin’s ours for the whole weekend.”
Her lips press together and her head shakes against the pillow. “No, Crew. I can’t stay all weekend. I have to go see Maddie at the hospital. You should visit, too.”
My chest tightens at the thought of seeing Maddie lying in that hospital bed hooked up to all those machines. I haven’t gone to see her yet. Don’t think I can. I’m afraid once I do, the guilt I feel will become a burden I can’t handle.
“Not yet,” I tell Scar.
She props herself up on her elbow, face hovering over mine. “Then when?”
I shrug my shoulders. “One day.”
“Look, Crew. I know how you’re feeling. I feel it, too. We both love Maddie, but as wrong as this is, I think she’d want us to be happy.”
I huff. “Try telling her brother that. He’d never agree.”
“Then we keep our secret. It’s ours and no one else's. One day, when things have calmed down, we can tell everyone.”
My lips press to her soft warm ones. “If only the world could see what we feel and feel what we see.”
“They don’t have to,” she whispers into my mouth. “If my only chance of having you is by having you in secret, then this secret I will keep.”
We can have our secret again if she’ll let us. I know we can.
“Oh my god, Crew!” Scar springs up, bringing the light sheet to her chest. “What the hell are you doing in my room?”
“Shh,” I press my finger to her lips, “you’ll wake Riley.”
Her willful breaths slow down, and she takes my hand, moving my finger from her mouth. “What are you doing?” she asks, now whispering, “How’d you even get in?”
“I got a key. I had to see you.”
“You shouldn’t be here, Crew. You need to leave.”
“Come live with us, Scar. For your own safety. For my own sanity.”
“You broke into my room at midnight to convince me to move in with you? Have you lost your damn mind?”
“Maybe I have.” I drop my head, running my fingers through my hair. “Fuck. I don’t know. I feel crazy lately. Every time I see you with Neo or Jagger. Every time they push you around or pull you in. I can’t fucking take it. I know they’re here and I know you’ve got something going on with Jagger, but seeing it just makes me crazy.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Crew. Jagger and I have nothing going on, but if that’s what you want to think, I guess you need to get over it, because I’m not yours and I never will be. Not after everything you did to me.”
“But you’ll be his? You’ll kiss Jagger? What’s next? Are you planning to fuck him? You already let him stick his fingers inside you.”
Her hand flies across my face. “I deserved that.”
“You deserve so much more,” she seethes. “Now quit judging me and get out of my room.”
“I know you still feel it.” I grab her hands, holding them down while I close in on her. She leans back, but I eat up the space by leaning forward. Her shaky breaths cause her chest to rise and fall.
