AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I rip off the rearview mirror as I drive away, then throw it out the window. I can’t bear to even look at myself. Disgusted, ashamed, hurt. Some many emotions roll through my mind as I push this shitty Honda to its limits.
I’m not really sure where I’m going, I just know I need to be far away. Once Lucas walks into that room, which I’m sure he’s done by now, I know he’ll be out for blood. I would be too if the roles were reversed. I’m just glad I have someone I can count on to make sure she’s okay.
The road curves over and over as I follow it. My headlights don’t provide much light, but they give me enough. Enough to see the road narrow in front of me, giving me a split second to contemplate continuing with the turn or going straight off the shoulder. I punch the steering wheel as I turn it. Crashing would be a fucking cop-out.
Fucking pussy.
Finally, I slow and pull over when all the streetlights disappear and the city noise dies down. Throwing the car in park, I use my free hand to fish out my phone.
I stare at the screen for a long minute before I finally dial Julius.
The receiver clicks, indicating he’s picked up, but I know he won’t speak. “Go check on your brother.” I hang up without a goodbye.
Stepping out of my car, I circle to the hood and plop down. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I whisper to no one.
I love Charlie. God do I fucking love her, but knowing another man has touched her fucking kills me. I want to try and convince myself I only loved the idea of her—like the chief said—but it’s a fucking lie.
Charlie isn’t just an idea. She’s a whole fucking novel with immaculate detail on crisp white pages penned in fresh black ink. The type of novel you read and fall in love with simply for the fact that it is such a puzzle. One whereby the end your heart is ripped out, stomped on, and shoved back into you. She isn’t an idea. She’s a fucking story. A story you can’t forget once you’re done.
I grip my hair in between my fingers and yank. “Fuck!”
What have I done? Never once have I been the type of person to let shit get to me or let people inside my head. This whole time I’ve been back, I’ve done nothing but hurt her over and over. I’ve done nothing but prove to her I am a monster.
A single tear escapes my eye and rolls down my cheek. As much as it hurts, maybe this is for the best. Charlie deserves nothing but perfect, and I’m just not it. And that—that is how I know I love her. I’m willing to push her away, make her hate me, just so she can be free of the burden of me.
