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I hear her feet pad against the floor as she rushes out of the room, but I don’t open my eyes until I know she’s behind her door. When I hear the soft latch from down the hall, I finally pry my eyes open. The white light burns, but blinking a few times helps the pain go away. At least for a moment until Lucas steps into my thin line of sight.
His dark eyes stare down on me, and I feel more vulnerable than I ever have. “Haven’t you done enough?” I ask because I assume he’s back to finish what he and Julius started.
He chuckles. “You deserved every minute.”
I nod the most I can because he’s right. I deserve this and so much more.
“I heard everything she said,” he adds.
I’m a queen—I’m just not your queen anymore…
Her words reverberate in my mind, and it’s like adding battery acid to all of my wounds. I try and remind myself I wanted this. I wanted her to hate me, but it’s almost too much to bear. I’ve never let myself fall for anyone, and the moment I do, shit blows up and I ruin everything.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Luke,” I say out loud, not even sure he’ll listen to me.
“I don’t know what you’re doing either. I can’t even try to process your thoughts.” The anger from earlier is still evident in his voice. “Why did you do it?”
“I—I want her to be happy. If I lose this fucked-up battle with the cartel, I don’t want her to hurt anymore. I don’t want her to mourn me again. She deserves so much more than that.”
I glance to my side as he steps away. “That’s a pussy way out of shit!” he whisper shouts. “What she deserves is love from the person she loves.”
His body vibrates with anger. “Lucas—” I try, but he cuts me off.
“No. Fuck you, Teddy. You took a perfectly whole woman and broke her. For what? Absolutely nothing. Your reasoning is fucking stupid, but you’re right. She does deserve so much more. So much more than you,” he spits.
“Promise me you’ll give her that, then?” The words cut my throat as they make their way out. I never thought I’d be asking someone else to love my woman, but then again, I never expected a lot of things.
“I’m not promising you shit. I’m tired of cleaning up all the mess you make. Fix your own shit.” He storms out of the kitchen.
Not long after, I hear the front door close. I want to get up and chase him. Apologize for everything I’ve ever put him through. Apologize for all of the shit with Charlie. Apologize for everything even if it wasn’t my fault, but the machine my IV is connected to beeps, sending another dose of pain medicine into my blood stream, and I pass out.
