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After leaving the kitchen last night, I found myself unable to sleep. When I was with Julius, everything was fine. His presence alone made me feel better, but once he was gone, Teddy’s and my conversation came slamming back into my mind and somehow landed itself on repeat.
Even now, there is no stop or pause button. Everything just keeps playing over and over like a bad song that gets stuck in your head. I let out a deep breath and roll over to my side, hoping a change in position will help me finally get some sleep, but it’s no use. It’s already 8:00 a.m.
I decide to get up and just go about with my day, hoping by tonight my body will be so tired it won’t have a choice but to rest. I walk to my closet and pull out some jeans and a T-shirt, then slip them on. I’m pushing my feet into my tennis shoes when I hear my phone ping.
I pick it up from my nightstand and see a text from Lucas. “Fina-fucking-ly,” I whisper under my breath, but when I read the message, I don’t even know what to say or think.
Lucas: Red Eye. RUBY RED RUM.
I start to type out a reply, but what am I supposed to even say? I’ve called, left numerous voicemails, and texted even more. And now I get some cryptic-ass message that makes zero sense.
I slip my phone in my pocket before grabbing my bag and moving into the hallway. If anyone knows what this means, it’ll be Julius. I walk to his door and tap it lightly.
It’s only a second before he opens it and tips his head. “Everything okay, Flower?”
I pull my phone from my pocket, unlock the screen, then flash at his direction. “Do you know what this means?”
I can see the recognition on his face as he reads the five words. But he doesn’t give me an explanation; instead he turns his back to me, grabs his jacket, then grips my arm and leads me to the front door.
When he opens it and tries to pull me through, I plant my feet on the marble floor and jerk from his hold. “Can you tell me what’s going on? Is he okay?”
He inhales through his nose, then lets it out through his mouth before scrubbing a hand down his face. “That’s our code word.” He says flatly. “He only uses it for certain situations, and none of them are good, per se. I don’t know why he would text you and not me.”
“Code word? What situations?”
He rolls his eyes. “I’ll explain in the car. Carl!” he yells behind me.
Carl appears from down the hall. Julius tips his head toward the open door. “We need to go to Red Eye.”
Carl walks through the door with a nod, and then Julius follows, dragging me.
“Wait! What about Teddy?” I question. My feet stumble with the inertia of his grip, and I catch myself, taking the steps as graceful as a newborn calf.
Julius lets out a huff. “He’s a big boy, Flower. He’s fine.” I can hear the annoyance in his voice, so I don’t question anymore. He has never given me a reason to not trust him. I pull myself together and quicken my pace, allowing him to free his hold on me.
He opens the back door to the car and motions for me to slide in first as Carl enters the driver’s seat. I can feel the caress of the cold leather through my jeans, and it does nothing but add to the chill running down my spine. I’ve tried to tell myself I don’t love Lucas, and I don’t, not really anyway. At least I don’t think I do. My mind begs to differ, and I question my own emotions by the way my stomach is in knots and my hands are slightly shaking.
Once Julius is in place, Carl starts the car and heads down the drive. The first bit of the drive is silent, but it’s an awkward silence, not like last night.
“Are you going to tell me now or let me walk into something unprepared?” I question quietly.
Julius shifts his attention from what is beyond the window to me. “Ruby red rum is what we always said when my dad was having one of his moments… we’ll call themoutbursts. Anyway, I can’t even remember where we got it, but it’s stuck all of these years.”
“What do you mean outbursts?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.” He looks back out the window “I just don’t understand why he texted you and not me. That’s something we only use if we need one another. Not necessarily trouble, but it’s never been used in a good way.”
“I’ve been asking myself the same thing,” I quip.
“Maybe it’s because he loves you,” he whispers almost too low for me to hear.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me, Charlie.” He doesn’t look back in my direction, and I don’t dare say anything else. This isn’t a conversation I want to have right now.
I chew my lip and wring my hands the rest of the way until we’re finally pulling up to Red Eye. We step out, and everything almost feels foreign. It hasn’t been too long since I’ve been here, but it’s been long enough. I do my best to stay away because all I can picture when I’m here is Simon’s head painting the floor.
I shake the thoughts away and follow Julius through the door. The bald bouncer, I swear, is here every time I come, and he always greets me with the same crooked smile. “Morning, Mrs. Hale.”
