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Prologue
Lucas’s hands frame my face, forcing my eyes to his. My eyes scan the room in sheer panic. “You have to stay calm! Dr. Kelly said stress isn’t good for the baby!” The words start off sounding as if they are off in the distance, but by midsentence, they along with a hardy dose of reality knock the wind from my chest.
Suddenly, every word that was on the tip of my tongue dies, the fight in my body leaves, and all of the pain in my shoulder from the gunshot and aching in my chest from the thought of Teddy really being gone leaves. It just evaporates into the room without a trace.
Lucas’s pleas resemble an old TV as they fade away into muffled white noise in the background, replaced by the sounds of my own heartbeat. My muscles turn to stone, and every tear in my eyes dries, but it only lasts for a moment.
“No. This can’t…” I stare into the distance, trying to come up with anything that makes sense. “This can’t be real,” I whisper.
Lucas sucks in a deep breath, then sits on the bed next to me. “Charlie, it’s going to be okay. We will figure this all out.”
Every emotion comes slamming back into my body. “I’m pregnant?” My lip quivers as my voice cracks.
Lucas nods. “Only a few weeks. Doc said the hormones in your blood are low, but they’re more elevated than normal. There is no explanation other than a pregnancy.”
Every word he says goes in one ear, then slips out the other like a thief in the night stealing my every whim.
“Teddy is gone.” I don’t pose it as a question because I don’t need to. As much as I want to forget, I can’t. His blue eyes dance into my vision and demand my attention, only they aren’t happy or admiring. They’re cold. They’re dead. And it was my fault.
Teddy is dead because of me.
“Hey.” Lucas’s hand brushes my cheek, wiping a tear that escaped.
My eyes follow his arm all the way to his shoulder, then to his neck, and finally land on his face. “I’m pregnant.”
Lucas nods again, but I wasn’t asking a question. “You have options, Charlie.”
I push his hand away, cringing at the pain that vibrates through my shoulder. “How could you expect me to kill my child? To kill Teddy’s child?” I scream, letting my voice come back in full force. I have never had a problem scolding Lucas, and in this instance, it just seems natural.
He stands from the bed and backs up a few feet, holding up his hands. “That isn’t what I meant. I just didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed thinking—”
“Get out!” I scream again, pointing to the door. “Get out!”
He opens his mouth to talk but snaps it shut in almost the same instant. He shakes his head with a huff and leaves the room.
Once he’s out of sight, a heavy weight comes over my chest. I slide my hand to my belly slowly. I’m not sure what I’m expecting. It’s not like there will be some magnificent bump this soon, but I just feel the need to touch it. To hold myself and try and tell myself everything will be okay when I know that’s the furthest thing from the truth.
Teddy is gone and he left me with… this… I grip my stomach. “How am I supposed to do this?” I ask myself.
“Not alone, that’s for sure.” I look up and see Dr. Kelly standing in the doorway.
Tears well from within and emerge at the very moment my stare meets his. His eyes are a soft hazel. Nothing extraordinary, but they stand out in a way that is reassuring. I guess being a doctor, they come in handy. “I don’t know if I can do this.” I glance down in an attempt to slow the flow of emotions.
He steps further into the room, setting my chart at the end of my bed. He reaches for my chin, pulling my head up. “You can and you will if it’s what you want. Don’t underestimate yourself, Charlotte.” Without another thought, he uses his thumb to gently untuck my bottom lip.
His words and actions scream Teddy, and all it does is make me angry. Angry with myself because I know I should hate him, and maybe I did for a minute, but now? Now knowing I’m carrying his child—our child—I can’t bring myself to think of any ill thoughts.
Maybe it’s the shock or remnants of adrenaline coursing through me, but right now I just want to remember the good Teddy. Not the monster.
“I don’t even know how to take care of a baby,” I admit pathetically.
Dr. Kelly smiles sadly. “You have eight months to learn. Right now, I just want you to rest and let the medicine do its job.”
I glance to my shoulder where there is thick white gauze, then to my other arm where an IV is pumping medicine into me through my hand. “What exactly happened? I remember feeling fire in my arm, but nothing after that.” I leave out all of the memories of Teddy’s cold, lifeless eyes on me because I can’t even bring myself to talk about it.
“You weren’t hit anywhere major. Not being there myself, it is hard to say, but from what I got, Teddy shot Cameron’s hand in hopes of protecting you. When the bullet hit Cameron’s hand, not only did it make him jerk in another direction, but his finger tightened on the trigger. Your shoulder is nothing more than a flesh wound. The bullet grazed you rather good but didn’t penetrate. The hit you took to your head is what had you unconscious.”
I reach for the back of my head and run my fingers over the tender spot with a wince.
