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“What are we, Charlotte?” His eyes connect with mine and hold me hostage. Something in them screams at me to give in. To let me love him.
“We’re just us, Lucas. What else would we be?” I want him to confess his love to me. Tell me all of the things I want to hear so I don’t have to be the one to do it first, but I know he won’t. The only time he even halfway admits anything is when he’s drunk.
“Why? Why can’t we be more?” His voice takes a turn and comes out angry.
I give him a sad smile. “Because we can’t even admit our feelings to each other.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I can admit that I love you, I just haven’t because I don’t want to be made a fool. Professing my love to a woman who can’t do the same. Who probably doesn’t even feel the same.”
“You only think you love me. What we have isn’t love.”
“And how are you so sure?”
I let out a low laugh. “We don’t even know each other. I use you and you use me, plain and simple. We both get off on the fact we shouldn’t be together—on the forbidden. Just like you drink to feel numb, I use you to feel numb.”
“You’re lying.”
His comment almost catches me off guard. I know I’m lying too, but what other way can I get out of this? I took that step—crossed the fucking line—and now I’m more unsure than ever. I feel things with Lucas. Things I felt with Teddy, but what if he hurts me?
My heart can’t take another heartbreak.
I try a new angle. “Lucas…” I sigh “You think you love me now, but eventually you’ll get bored of me. You’re a playboy, a player. You have women falling at your feet. You don’t want me.”
“If you’re trying to change my mind, it won’t work. I’ll fucking prove it. You can say you don’t love me all you want, but we both know it’s a lie. You want me just as bad as I want you. Last night proved that.”
He steps around the corner and rushes to my front. His chest presses into mine, and I suck in a sharp breath and feel my heart start to beat faster.
“See? That right there. That isn’t hate or numbness.”
His hand reaches out and pushes the hair behind my ear. “Stop assuming the worst in me, and stop hiding behind your anger. I’m not fucking going anywhere no matter how hard you push.”
“If you mean it, then say it.” Say you love me. Prove me wrong.
He bites his lip and tips his head. “No. I’ll prove it instead.”
“How?”
“You’ll see.”
Our connection is severed when his phone rings. He drops his hand and walks over to the couch and picks it up. “Hello?”
I stand still, trying to listen to the conversation like I can even hear the other person.
“What happened? … No, Jules, I said don’t do anything stupid. Come home so we can talk about this.”
Lucas goes silent for a moment before removing the phone from his ear and tossing it back on the couch.
“What’s the matter?”
“He wants to go back to the casino.”
I prop my hand on my hip. “Okay, what’s the issue?”
He shakes his head. “There is more than he’s saying. Something is getting under his skin, and I don’t know what. If he goes, I have no doubt he will let his anger get the best of him and he’ll do something reckless.”
My mind flashes to the first time I saw Julius upset. The night at the club with Simon. He never hesitated. Never apologized. He didn’t give two shits who saw or heard. He had one goal, and one goal only: hurt Simon the way he was hurting me.
“Maybe it’s the girl.”
