AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Three Months Later…
I rub my stomach through my thick sweater. I’m only eighteen weeks pregnant, but I’m finally starting to see a small bump. I try to conceal it, thinking maybe if I can’t see it this will all become less real, but it’s pointless. Small flutters have started to erupt inside me, the smell of eggs make me sick, and I’m finally gaining some weight. All telltale signs that Teddy’s and my baby is thriving.
It still doesn’t feel real most days. Maybe it’s because I want to ignore it, or maybe it’s the fact I still don’t want it to be real, but nonetheless, I still can’t believe it. Teddy and I were never careful I guess, but I know he made sure to always pull out.
Other than the day he raped me…
Sometimes I wonder if he did it on purpose. Like maybe somehow, he knew how things would go down, so as a parting gift he’d give me a baby.
A small human who would remind me of him every day that it grows inside of me. A baby I can raise to be better than their father in some aspects, but still fiercely loyal and completely loveable all at the same time. A baby who would have all of his best qualities and none of his bad. And in a way, maybe I’m thankful for that.
I inhale a deep breath and set my bag of takeout on the island, trying to clear my thoughts. The same thoughts I’ve had over and over for the past three months.
It’s almost as if I like torturing myself with all of the what-ifs and the past. It’s all that consumes my mind anymore and does nothing but bring on the nightmares.
God… The nightmares…
I shake the thoughts away, yet again, before they can snowball in my mind.
The cabin Carl has set up isn’t too bad. It’s close to the border of the city, gives me privacy, and keeps me safe. It’s nothing spectacular like Teddy’s home—like my home—but it serves its purpose well.
Everything is modern on the inside. An open living area that melts into the small kitchen and dining room, all stainless-steel appliances, and two rooms tucked away on the far wall. A fireplace sits half in the kitchen and half in the living room, lighting up all of the dark leather and walnut wood furniture.
I pull out a barstool and sit, looking out the panoramic window that takes up almost the entire wall behind the main counter in the kitchen. Frost creeps up the glass, making everything look distorted outside. It’s cold out now, but not enough for snow. At least with the colder weather, I can wear baggy clothes now.
I drag my eyes from my skewed reflection to the bag of Chinese food on the counter.Since being in the cabin, I found the best hole-in-the-wall restaurant that has a little bit of everything. I find myself craving the sweet-and-sour chicken along with fried rice at least three times a week. Probably not the best for me, but it’s one of the only things that doesn’t make me sick.
I shove a piece of the chicken into my mouth, then look up. “Fuck!” I let out a scream as the glass now clearly displays the reflection of a man standing behind me.
Carl chuckles behind me as I turn around and glare at him. “You have to stop being so jumpy, Charlotte. I’m sure that ‘baby boy’ doesn’t like being shook up.”
I roll my eyes. “Stop calling it that. We don’t even know what it is yet.”
I know being mean to Carl will get me nowhere, but anger is just easier these days. If I cut off all other feelings, I won’t be hurt again.
“It?” He shakes his head. “I can’t call the baby an ‘it,’ and I’ll have you know I’m great with guessing gender. I have a feeling it’s a boy.”
I widen my eyes and cross my arms. “Oh yeah? How many pregnant women have you been around, and how many have you guessed right?”
He opens his mouth, then snaps it closed.
“That’s what I thought. If you insist on calling it anything, you can use Hale.” I pop another piece of chicken into my mouth since the other went flying and try to hide my smile.
“Hale? You’re giving it the Hale name?” He looks too shocked.
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I? And I thought we weren’t calling it an it,” I tease, hoping it will distract him from my question.
“I just thought after everything he did, you’d go with something else. Perhaps Welsh like your father.”
I shake my head. Carl never uses Teddy’s name anymore. I don’t know if it’s because he misses him too and it’s too painful, or if maybe he’s still ashamed of all he did to me. “I love—” I cut myself off and look to the ceiling, hoping like hell my hormones won’t get the best of me. “Loved. I loved him, Carl. Even after everything, I still loved him. This baby is his, and even though he isn’t here, that doesn’t magically change its paternity. Regardless of everything, this baby is a Hale.”
He nods, not pushing the subject further. I’m sure it’s in fear of having me completely break down. That’s happened a lot recently. Sometimes—most times really—I cry, and others… Others I’m not so nice. I may have thrown a thing or two and threatened to castrate him over food, but whatever. Hormones are a bitch.
I give him a tight smile, then open the container with my rice. As soon as the lid is out of the way, the aroma of eggs flutters to my nose and lands in the back of my throat.
“No, no, no,” I chant to myself.
“What’s the matter?” Carl asks, stepping closer to me.
