AllFreeNovel
Share Us
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CARMEN
The ride back to Bexley is awkwardly silent. Cyrus doesn’t speak, and neither do I because honestly, I don’t even know what to say. Sure, I knew Bradley had feelings, but I thought him leaving was his own way of letting go. That’s how I took it anyway.
“You know he loves you, right?” Cyrus finally says, breaking the silence.
I keep my eyes positioned out the window. One, because I’m ashamed he even had to witness that, and two, because every emotion inside of me is already threatening to explode. Seeing his disapproving face won’t help with that. “Love is a strong word.”
“What did you do to him?” he asks, ignoring my statement.
“Why do you think I did something?” I reply defensively, knowing it was me who caused his pain.
“Because no man would act that way over just anyone.”
I scoff because I know he’s right, but do I really want to out myself as being a cold bitch? “We used to mess around. We tried the whole dating thing for a while, but it just didn’t work out. He always thought I would change and want to settle down, but I wasn’t ready for that. I strung him along for selfish reasons, and I know that’s wrong, but I didn’t realize the impact it had on him until now.”
Lie.
I knew exactly what it would do, but I never thought I would have to ask him for help again. When he left, I was hurt too and thought leaving shit how it was would be best. If I didn’t flaunt it in front of him that I was fine without him, no more harm. But here we are… I’m dragging him back into shit that could very well hurt him.
I feel bad—more than bad—but I’m desperate. Desperate to help Cyrus, desperate to get the answers I crave, and desperate to end all the bullshit once and for all. No more secrets, no more murder. I can go back to my life how it was. I can try to be happy even though I’m not even sure what that means for me.
Is my happy alone? Is it with Cyrus? What about all the shit with my dad—Alexander.
“Well,” he starts again, pulling me from my thoughts. “Maybe the shit between you and him is something you can fix in the future.”
I turn in my seat to face him. “You literally just tried to beat his ass for kissing me, and now you’re saying I can mend our relationship later on?”
He shrugs and stares out the windshield. Small droplets of rain start to fall as thunder echoes in the air around us. “There is no telling what will happen after today, Carmen.”
I push my head back into the seat as his conversation with Hatcher replays in my mind. “I know, but we can still hope for the best.”
“I guess we can.” He reaches over the console and grips my thigh.
I try to focus on his touch because it’s the only nice thing I seem to look forward to anymore, but as my surroundings start to grow more familiar, my nerves start getting to me.
“I need to see my brother before we do this,” he says, turning down the main road in Bexley that eventually splits and leads to Carter and Lydia’s place.
I nod, but I don’t speak. I don’t trust my voice not to crack. I’m not sure if I’m ready to face the reality of him saying goodbye in his own way—because that’s exactly what he’s doing.
As we pull up to Lydia’s house, I take a deep breath. My Bentley is parked in the same spot I left it, and it makes me wonder how shit would be if I never met up with Cyrus. What if I took her warning to heart and never met with B either? Shit would be okay right now, but instead, it’s a fucking mess. A mess I’m not sure can even be cleaned up.
Stepping out of the SUV, I wait for Cyrus. He opens the back door, letting Tiny out, then moves to my side. Together, we walk to the front with Tiny following. He steps forward, knocking on the wood three times before stepping back beside me.
After a few seconds, the door is pulled open, and Lydia stands on the other side. Although it’s only been a few days, I had almost forgotten what she looked like because my mind has been in so many other places. Her thin frame and short blonde hair are a comforting sight. Comforting in a different way than seeing Bradley.
Lydia has been my friend forever. I should have told her when all this started in the beginning. Not just the shit with Cyrus, but B too, and maybe things would be different.
“Carmen? Where have you been?” Her lips pull down in a frown as she crosses her arms over her chest. It’s rare that she and I go even a day without speaking, other than the time after her dad died.
“Just hanging with Cyrus in a place with no reception. I wanted to call, but all I was able to manage was a text. Did you get it?” I shrug, trying to act as nonchalant as possible, but I know she can see right through me.
“You can lie to yourself if you want, but you can’t lie to me. William called.” She pulls me inside, not closing the door so Cyrus and Tiny can follow.
I follow her through the entryway and all the way to the living room, where Carter is on the couch. “Hey, Carter.”
He turns and looks at me, then to Cyrus behind me. “Fuck off.”
