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What the—
“Harper!”
I twist around to find Warren running down the sidewalk, his arms raised, his hands waving back and forth as he tries to get my attention. Bitter anger pulses through my veins. Shaking my head, I turn back and start walking to the approaching bus. It’s too late. I can’t and won’t talk to him. Maybe someday, but not today.
“Harper,” he yells again just as the bus stops, its doors opening. I’m about to step on, but my foot has barely left the ground when someone pulls me back. I try to shrug him off, but his hands are firm on my shoulders. I can feel myself melting into his touch. I want to give in, to let myself fall for anything and everything he says, but he doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t want me. It was all a mistake.
“Please, just let me explain. I’m so sorry, I fucked up. I thought you cheated on me and got pregnant by someone else.” He pants.
Turning to face him, I can’t hide my anger and sadness from him. His eyes are bloodshot, and though he smells like a liquor cabinet that’s been spilled over, he seems sober. “Are you fucking serious right now? When the hell was I supposed to be with someone else? We’ve been together day and night for the last few weeks.”
Warren shakes his head, his chest is rising and falling so fast I worry he might be having a heart attack, “Not now, then… three years ago. I saw the doctor’s bill with your name on it. It said abortion, and I thought…” I try to digest what he’s saying, but I’m too angry, too sad, my give a shit is busted. Nothing can change what we’ve become.
“You thought I cheated on you and got an abortion? What is wrong with you? Do you know me at all? Why didn’t you come talk to me? Why did you believe it in the first place? You should know that I would never do anything like that! I loved you, and you treated me like I was nothing to you time and time again.” The words pour out of me. I struggle to take a breath in between.
“I’m sorry…” The words fall from his lips with ease, and I can see the guilt and shame in his features, and still, I don’t care.
“I’m sorry is not good enough. This is not something I can just forgive. I can’t forget the words you said to me earlier, and I don’t know if I ever will. I would never get an abortion, but don’t worry, you don’t have to be a part of our lives. I don’t want your money, and I certainly don’t want you.”
He staggers back like I just hit him in the face. “You don’t want me?” He blinks as if he’s unsure of what I just said.
Swallowing down the pain in my chest, and the thousand and one other emotions, I nod. “Right now, no, and maybe not ever. You had your chance, and you destroyed me, us. You took something beautiful and ruined it.”
“I’m sorry, Harper. I’m so sorry. There is nothing I can say, nothing I can do. I can’t take back the things I did. I can’t rewind time. If I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. I would right all my wrongs. I would erase all the pain I caused you, everything I did to us.”
Well, you can’t…I almost say, tears stinging my eyes. It’s time to end this for good. Time for me to let go. I’ve held onto him, and this thought that he would be mine forever for far too long. It was nothing more than a fairytale wish. Warren isn’t a prince. I’m not a princess. And this isn’t a fairytale. It’s a nightmare, and I need to wake up. I’m going to save myself from it.
“My bus is leaving, I need to go,” I tell him, grabbing onto the handle of my suitcase a little tighter.
“At least let me drive you,” he offers, holding out his hand to me, but I can smell the booze from here.
“You smell like a distillery, and you shouldn’t be driving anywhere, let alone with me.”
He drops his hand and lowers his head in defeat. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I echo his words. My heart feels as if it’s being ripped from my chest. I take a step away from him.
“I want to be in your life and the baby’s life. Don’t… don’t end this forever. Don’t let this be goodbye,” he pleads, but in my already fragile state, there is no determining our future.
“I don’t know… I really don’t know if I can.”
“Ma’am, I’m about to leave without you,” the bus driver calls from inside the bus.
“Goodbye, Warren,” I whisper as I once again find myself walking away from the man I love. The only difference, this time, I’m the one choosing to leave.
