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“Fuck, IknowMonk’s an arsehole and Iknowhe deserved everything he got but I don’t like the fact I had to beat him to a pulp in order to survive here. That fucking sucks. I’m always fighting. When will it stop?”
Ford looks at me with a serious expression on his face. “Listen, Asia. He had it coming. You did what you had to do.”
“I know that. I’d do it again… I just wish I didn’thaveto.”
“We all wish that, but this is the life we live. If we don’t fight we die, either literally or on the inside… I don’t plan on doing either, even though I’ve been close to doing both,” Ford murmurs. It’s quite a revelation. One that sits heavy between us all. Fight or flight, live or die. Beat or be beaten. Run and hide, or stay and fight. This is how it is for us. This is how we live our lives. The delinquents. The rejects. The misfits.
“How bad is Monk?” I sigh, knowing Ford’s right.
“Hospital bad,” Sonny explains.
“Then I’m fucked. My time here is done. There’s no way Mr Carmichael is going to let this slide. Too much shit is going on around here. He’ll know I was involved… look at me.”
I stare at my hands, at Monk’s blood caked across my knuckles. I still have the masking tape wrapped around them. I want it off. Now. Tugging at the tape, I wince at the pain I feel.
“Let me do that,” Ford says, taking my hands and holding them for a moment. I try to pull them from his grasp, but he refuses to let me go. “It’s okay, Asia. You’ve done the hard part. Let us help you with this.”
But he’s wrong. The hard part will be surviving what I’ve done. It always is. Nodding once, I force back the sudden emotion I feel. I can’t let it out, not here. Not in front of Ford and Sonny. Shutting down my emotions I watch Ford as he slowly peels off the masking tape from around my knuckles.
“No one’s going to talk. There’s a code of silence we all live by, you know that.”
“But how will Monk’s injuries be explained away? Mr Carmichael isn’t an idiot.”
Ford flashes me the tiniest of smiles; it’s like glimpsing the sun behind stormy clouds and I suddenly yearn to see its full beauty.
“Camden had a little bet of his own, apparently. If Monk lost he would have to confess to escaping from Oceanside and getting mugged.”
“Really? Why would Camden do that?” I can’t help but be suspicious of his motives.
“Monk disobeyed him. This is his punishment.”
“But he refuses to get rid of Monk from his crew. Why?”
“That I don’t know. If he were in my crew, the prick would’ve been gone the second I found out what he did to you.”
“Ouch.” I wince a little as the tape pulls at a split in my skin, a rivulet of blood runs down my finger. Ford grabs the hem of his t-shirt and presses it against the wound. The blood seeps into the white material, marking it.
“I’m sorry about Bram and Red. They’re your friends… even if they’re arseholes. You didn’t have to do that for me,” I suddenly blurt out.
“Correction, Asia. Theyweremy friends. They also know the rules No Name crew abides by and they broke them out of pettiness and jealousy despite being my oldest friends.Loyaltymeans everything to me.Everything. When I give my all to someone, I expect the same in return. No fucking questions. No fucking excuses.”
“I’m still sorry. I seem to fuck everything up.”
“No!” he snaps. “No. This isn’t on you, Asia. This is onthem. You’re just trying to survive. I understand that… Igetit. Fuck knows I do,” he insists. And he does understand. I see it in the emotion that he tries to hide. It’s fleeting, but it’s there. His past has scarred him. Just like mine has.
When the last piece of tape has been removed Ford holds my hands in his. “How does this feel?” he asks, pressing gently against each knuckle with the pad of his thumb.
“Sore, but not agony,” I respond, staring at him whilst he inspects my hands. His dark blonde hair falls forward, covering his eyes and brushing against his straight nose. It doesn’t look like it’s ever been broken. I wonder how that’s possible given his history.
“I don’t think they’re broken. That’s good.” He looks up, catching me staring and sees me blush.
“Asia?” He cocks his head, a question in his eyes.
“I should get back to my room…” I pull my hands from his and stand suddenly, regretting it instantly as pain blossoms in my chin and my shoulder where Monk hit me. “I really want a shower and a change of clothes. Is Pink back?” I blurt out. She’s been lending me her clothes, seeing as I no longer have any of my own thanks to Monk.
“Yeah, she left me her key so you could stay in her room. She’s bunking up with Kate tonight. The girls are a little freaked out by all this shit. I said I would knock for them once you came around. But it’s way past three in the morning now. They’re probably asleep,” Sonny explains.
“I guess I should go to Pink’s room then?” I don’t know why I phrase that as a question rather than a statement, but that’s the way it comes out.
