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“I’m not proud of myself, Asia. I manipulated you to get what I wanted, and I promised myself I would never do that to someone I like.”
“Fuck, man,” Sonny grinds out, tension oozing from him.
My own heart thuds like the bass drum of the Grime music I love so much. “Why do it then?” I ask quietly.
“I needed to know something about you, something from your past. Not just because it would help me to teach you to fight, but because I collect people’s memories so my own don’t seem so bad. Sick, right?”
“Ford, you prick,” Sonny says on a heavy sigh.
I turn to face Ford, my heart now in my throat as I look at him and see the first true sign of vulnerability since we met. This time he allows me to see it, just for a bit. Reaching up I cup his face before I can even think about what I’m doing. It’s instinctual.
“If you wanted to know something about me you should’ve just asked.”
“I did, you refused,” he smiles then, and just like the sun it blinds me. Jesus, his smile… warm, genuine, fucking life bringing. Oh, I’m so screwed. My heart pounds loudly as the storm I carry within me always turns into a cloud of butterflies.
“That’s true.” I laugh lightly, trying to fend off the nervous ache I feel. Then regret it as I wince with pain.
“Easy, Asia. I know Ford’s entertaining, but try not to give yourself internal bleeding,” Sonny jokes, lightening the mood with his humour. I appreciate it. I appreciatehim.
“Ha bloody ha,” I retort, feeling the pull of both Sonny and Ford, and not knowing what to do about it. We all fall silent as I remove my hand from Ford’s check and rest it on my stomach. He places his warm hand over mine, his fingers curling around my knuckles carefully.
“I know you don’t want a place in my crew, Asia. I respect your wishes. I respect you. But I will never coerce you into giving me information like that again. I want you to tell me stuff because you trust me enough with your pain. I’m sorry for what I did.”
It’s a heartfelt apology, and one that for some reason makes me well up. I blink back the tears. Why am I so emotional? I suddenly feel so exhausted that all I want to do now is sleep. He senses that and leans over pressing a delicate kiss against my forehead.
“Sleep, Asia. I’ve got you.”
“Correction: whether you like it or not, Ford, and whether you feel comfortable or not, Asia. We’vebothgot you,” Sonny adds. He kisses my cheek. His lips lingering, and my body reacts instinctively as a rush of heat pools between my legs.
“He’s right, we do,” Ford agrees, settling himself into a comfortable position beside me. He’s still holding my hand, and even though that simple gesture isn’t supposed to turn me on, the fact that his thumb is rubbing gently over my skin, does.
“Sonny made a decision tonight. He’s agreed to join No Name crew,” he explains.
“You have?” I question, turning to look at Sonny.
“This might make Ford’s ego grow to ridiculous proportions but he’s a good guy. I might not agree with everything he’s done or said, but I know that we’re stronger together than apart. I get that now. Besides, who else is gonna keep that ego in check but me?” Sonny says, a wry grin pulling up his lips. The dimples are back; the dimples are doing something stupid to me right about now. Those bloody dimples. All these thoughts rush through my head, making it spin. Then Sonny runs his knuckles down my bare arm so lightly that I almost think I’ve imagined it and those thoughts spin to something elicit. My skin prickles under their touch. These two are killing me.
“There’s no pressure on you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got your back, Asia.”
“Always,” Sonny adds.
“Always,” Ford agrees.
And just like that Ford and Sonny shuffle closer, both of them wrapping an arm over me, folding their bodies around mine. Neither push for more though I know they want to. But this whole thing…us, is confusing and new and exciting and terrifying. Right now, I need to wrap my head around whateverthisis. As much as I want Ford’s hand to slide lower and Sonny’s lips to meet mine, I also need to be careful, certain,sureof my feelings. There’s still Eastern who I can’t stop worrying about, thinking about. I know there’s more to us than just best friends and it isn’t fair to dive headfirst into whatever this is with Ford and Sonny until I resolve those feelings for Eastern. I need to see him, speak to him first.
Then there’s Camden and his strange on/off behaviour with me and the weird attraction I feel towards him, towards the guy who fucked things up for Eastern. I feel guilty about that attraction, that pull. Now certainly isn’t the time to bring it up.
“Rest, Asia…” Ford whispers. His voice soft, cajoling.
“We’ve got you,” Sonny reminds me. The warmth of his breath sliding over my skin.
“Thank you,” I murmur, not able to find the words I need to express how I truly feel.
I’m not just thanking them for tonight, or for how they’ve stuck up for me and had my back since I’ve been here. I’m thanking them for so much more than that.
For the first time in a very long time, I allow myself to trust in someone other than Eastern. I allow myself to be held by both of them. Ford and Sonny might not understand the significance of this moment, but I do.I do. Maybe joining Ford’s crew isn’t such a bad idea after all?
