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11
By the time I haul my arse back inside, I’m thirty minutes late for art class. When I step into the studio Miss Moore, or Ros as she prefers to be called, just waves me over to my seat, distracted by Sonny who’s showing her something on his sketchpad. He looks up at me as I enter, winking. It’s a friendly,are you okaykind of wink but I can’t even form a smile in response. I’m not okay, and neither is Eastern.
Sitting in my usual spot opposite Sonny, I grab a piece of thick art paper and a pencil from the centre of the desk. On the board, Ros has already written the title of this term’s project;Reject.
I mean for fuck sake if this isn’t the universe’s way of giving me the middle finger then I don’t know what is. I’m a fucking expert on this subject matter. Looks like I’m heading for an A plus this term or at the very least a day out of Oceanside. Ros cocks her head to look at Sonny’s artwork then points out an area he could shade better before looking up at me.
“Okay, Asia?”
“Yeah, sorry I’m late. Just showing the new guy around.”
Sonny raises an eyebrow at that. I keep my expression neutral. Easternisthe new guy to Oceanside, he just happens to be my oldest friend too.
“You need me to explain the aim of this term’s work?” Her long earrings dangle like sparkly chandeliers from her ears. I like them. I like her. She doesn’t see a delinquent or a fucked-up kid with a past splattered with disappointment and pain. She sees the artist in me, the potential. It’s a good feeling.
“Sure,” I plaster on a smile, focusing on Ros and not Sonny who’s pretending to draw when really he’s surreptitiously looking at me from beneath his long lashes.
“Well, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Take that word, think about what it means to you and then formulate a self-expressive piece of art in any medium you wish. Sonny is choosing to use charcoal, a couple of others are using oil, and one of the group is using acrylic. Our newest class member is going to use clay. He’s decided to do a sculpture, which is exciting. All the finished pieces need to be handed in at the end of the school year, by summer break. The marks awarded will be split fifty-fifty between the class work and the final piece. So all the designs, sketches, research, and so forth that goes into the piece is just as important as what you hand in at the end of the term. Does that make sense?” she asks me.
“Yeah, it makes sense.” I might be a school dropout, but I can understand the English fucking language. I almost say as much but decide against it. Ros is cool, she doesn’t deserve my attitude. It’s not her fault my life’s a goddamn mess.
“Great. I’ll let you think about what you’d like to do. Excuse me, Asia. I just need to help the young man who’s started with us this term. He’s just getting some more supplies from the store cupboard.” She bustles off in a cloud of sweet-smelling perfume, her numerous bracelets chinking, leaving me alone with Sonny.
“Got things sorted?” Sonny asks me the second she’s out of earshot. “You and brick shit house looked a little tense at breakfast…” His baby blues rake over me, the dimples in his cheek making an appearance. Those goddamn dimples.
“It’s none of your business, Sonny,” I retort avoiding his gaze as I write the word reject across the centre of the piece of paper, circling around it repeatedly until the pencil line is dark and thick. Fuckingreject.
My mum rejected me for heroin.
My dad rejected me for a life without responsibility, without me.
Who’s next? Will Eastern reject me now after our conversation this morning?
Will Kate and Pink reject me when I join Camden’s crew?
Will Sonny turn his back on me?
And Ford? Will he regret ever meeting me, kissing me, touching me?
Fuck.
Sonny grabs my wrist, stopping me from drilling a hole into the table, but much too late to prevent me from ripping the paper.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“This is between me and Eastern. So, no. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Sonny nods, squeezing my hand before withdrawing it. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me, yeah? Remember, I got your back.”
“Apparently so,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
“Not apparently,definitely.”
I make a non-committal sound. Let’s see what happens when I join Camden’s crew. Will he have my back then? Will his actions speak louder than words when I choose a side? No doubt he’ll drop me like a sack of mouldy potatoes just like every other arsehole who’s let me down in my life. The thought makes me feel sick, but do I have any right feeling this way?
The truth is no. No, I don’t. I’m the one who’ll be turning my back on him. My actions are going to fuck everything up. Whatever happens next I have to take it on the chin.
“Asia, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I meant what I said this morning. Got it?”
