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“I can’t stay away,” he mutters against my mouth, running his hands up my arms and cupping my head, his fingers tugging on my hair as he nips my lower lip between his teeth. All common sense and any shred of dignity flies out of the window as my own hands find themselves sliding up his chest and around his neck. I push against him, matching his passion with a frenzied, wild abandonment, allowing this kiss.
Just one last kiss.
Ford’s hands roam everywhere, they skim over my bikini clad top, and slide beneath the water to my lower belly meeting the undeniable heat that burns within me there. Like with everything when it comes to Ford, it’s all or nothing. It’s fire and ice. A rash of scorching heat or freezing shallows. I both want to self-combust and drift into sweet serenity.
He does stupid things to my brain, and my body.
Stupid things.
Dangerous things.
Yet still I kiss him knowing how easily we could be caught. Knowing that I’m putting everything on the line just to have his attention. I’m thirsty for it. I hadn’t realised how much I’ve been craving him until now. How much I’ve missed this electricity between us. Missed him. Missedallof them. Ford, Sonny,Eastern…
Eastern who I’m trying to protect.
“NO!” I suddenly snap, jerking back and pushing him away, meaning it this time.
He looks slightly dazed, as dazed as I feel.
“No?”
“No! You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to command my attention, make me drunk with lust and tell me things that make no sense.” Meaning the cryptic message back at the funfair. I breathe heavily, panting, every part of me wanting him back in my arms, wanting the fire and the passion that he seems to so easily stoke.
“I make you drunk with lust?” he tips his head to the side, a small smile pulling up his lips. If he smiles fully, really lets me see him I know I’m done for.
“Don’t do that. Don’t make this into something meaningless. You threw the fight remember? You lost, and now I’m Camden’s. Why?” I ask, suddenly needing to know but also understanding that it wouldn’t have made a difference to my decision regardless.
“He needs you. You need him. I did what had to be done.”
“What?!” There are so many riddles to be solved in that one statement that my head is spinning with questions. What does he mean, Camden needs me? And me needing Camden? Does he know about Eastern’s and my deal with Crown? If so, how? And what does he gain from it by pushing me towards Camden?
Ford sighs. “Camden wasn’t always this way. Things are…”
“Complicated? No shit. I know about Sapphire, Ford. I know what you did. Camden told me.” The words come out in a rush and I instantly regret them.
“Fuck! He told you about Sapphire?” he grinds out, swiping a hand over his face. He looks genuinely shocked. Then he rights himself, looking resigned but pleased in a weird, messed up kind of way.
“So, forgive me if I can’t trust a word that comes out of your mouth or your skewed reasoning for doing anything. You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie, Asia. I just didn’t tell you the whole story about our pasts.”
“She’s dead, Ford. Dead because you threw the fight formoney, for your damn fight club, for yoursister.” I slam my hand against the surface of the water. Droplets splash against my skin, having no effect on cooling me off.
“I can’t take back what happened,” he implores, holding his hands out. “Don’t you think I know that I have Sapphire’s blood on my hands. I live with that decision every fucking day. But you must believe me, Asia, I didn’t intend for Sapphire to get hurt. I didn’t know it would get that violent. I should’ve, but I was akid. It doesn’t excuse anything, but I made a mistake that cost Sapphire her life. I was arrogant and foolish taking her there. Camden has every right to hate me. Every right. Though I hate myself enough for the both of us.”
His shoulders slump, the confidence that he carries himself with gone. It’s such a stark contrast to what I’m used to, that for a moment I’m struck dumb. Maybe I should go to him, reassure him, but I don’t. It’s not my forgiveness he needs, it’s Camden’s, and that’s not going to happen in this lifetime.
“Is that why you threw the fight? You lost so Camden could claim me as his own? Did it ease your conscience, Ford, is that it? Using me like some offering.”
“No. I told you I did it for you, for Camden. It’s already working.”
“What the fuck do you mean?” I shout, then slam my mouth shut.
“He’s opening up to you, Asia. Maybe you’ll be the one to persuade him to save him from himself.”
“It’s not even about him saving himself. He’s in too deep, there’s too much at stake…” I slam my mouth shut before I tell him about Camden’s mum and the King’s vicelike hold over them both.
“Sometimes, all a person needs is someone worth fighting for. I believe that’s you, Asia.”
