AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“When my friend Nisha was kidnapped, I wanted to tear the world apart…”
“Your friend was kidnapped too? Am I like living your life or something?” I respond wryly.
She laughs a little, even though neither of us think it’s particularly funny. “She was. Someone wanted money and they used her to try and get it.”
“What happened?”
“I trusted the people I care about to help me. Those people were Hudson, Bryce, Max and Cal. Believe me, I wanted more than anything to murder the man who took her. Thing is, he nearly murdered me and if it wasn’t for my men, he would’ve raped me before he did.”
“What happened to your friend?” I ask, meeting her gaze.
It softens, her eyes filling with love. “She survived her ordeal, married Cal. They’re my family now too. I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have found my family, to have a family of my own. I nearly destroyed that by running from them when I should’ve stayed. I ran because that’s what you do when you feel alone and always have to take care of number one. I pushed them away. Fortunately for me, they wouldn’t let me go.”
“I don’t mean to push them away,” I admit, feeling torn up inside. “I just can’t see them hurt.” Not more than an hour ago I was clutching onto Eastern like he was my lifeline. The thought of hurting him ruins me, but the thought of the King doing the same enrages me more.
“I know you don’t. Thing is, sometimes we have to just take a leap of faith and believe that things will work out the way they’re supposed to in the end.”
“Don’t tell me everything will be okay…”
“I’m not telling you that. I won’t. You and I both know that there’s a good chance people are going to get hurt. There’s a good chance people thatIlove are going to get hurt. But I trust in those same people to make this right.”
“That’s easier said than done. Your father isn’t a fucking demented criminal. He has to die. It’s the only way. You must see that.”
“Maybe that’s true, but you don’t have to be the person to kill him. You are not alone anymore. There are so many people here for you, Asia. My family are here, your boys are here, Mr Carmichael, Frank, Grim.I’mhere. You aren’t responsible for any of this and you’re certainly not responsible for sorting this mess out. From what I can gather, the King has many enemies. Powerful ones, with their own agendas. The harsh truth is, you wouldn’t even get close enough to do it, and even if you did, can you honestly say that you could murder someone in cold blood, no matter how much they deserve it?”
I want to answer yes. My rage and anger tell me that I could, but somewhere deep down inside, the part of me that longed for a father and was given a monster is telling me I can’t. It whispers doubt, and I hate it.
“I can’t tell you how to feel, or even what to do, but I will tell you this. No matter how bleak things look right now, you have a chance to be happy. I see how those boys look at you. I see perhaps what you can’t, and I know that every single one of them will protect you, even from yourself. Don’t force any of them to make a bad decision to save you from doing the same. If I understand you like I think I do, then I know you wouldn’t want a life sentence for any of them, just as much as none of them wish that for you. You’ve already made the right choice by letting them in. Don’t push them away now to protect them because you’ll only hurt everyone, yourself included, in the long run.”
“What am I supposed to do? This is my responsibility, he’s myfather,”I hush out bitterly, hating to acknowledge that fact out loud.
“Whether you like it or not, we are the adults here and we’ll do everything in our power to make this right. I know it’s hard for you, but I’m asking you to trust us.Please.”
Louisa pats my hand then stands, leaving me to absorb her words and fight my internal struggle to do the exact opposite of what she’s just said. Can I really trust these people who are no more than strangers? In the past I’ve done that and got screwed over. I trusted my mum when she told me she was sober, only to lose her to heroin. I trusted my teachers who said they wanted to help, then didn’t. I trusted social workers who said they’d got my best interests at heart but put my baby brothers in a different foster home than me.
Every time I’ve had a little hope, it’s been dashed like lazy graffiti across a wall ruining my faith in the world. Louisa seems sincere enough, they all do. But that doesn’t change anything.
I’ve been wrong before.
And what about my boys? Because they aremyboys now. I’ve let them in and in doing so they’re in danger. The King has taken Pink because of me, because he knows how much she means to me. He’ll hurt them too, and I can’t allow that.
See, the question isn’t really about letting them in, loving them even, because honestly I’m already there. The real question here is, when I’m finally face to face with my father, will I be able to end his life?
Only time will tell.
