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Thirty-Four
Malakai
I’m on the edge.
Edge of my sanity, edge of my patience, edge of my fucking control.
I can’t believe Connie came back. I can’t fucking believe it.
If anyone needs to be put over my knee and spanked until her arse is red and sore, it’s Connie. Goddamn her, I let my guard down. I fucking lost myselfinher, both figuratively and literally. If I’d have known what she was up to, I would have refrained. I would have had the fucking willpower to refuse. If I didn’t have a debt to repay, if I didn’t have six kids looking to me to help rescue their friend, if there wasn’t a little girl who would only grow up to be another casualty of the Bennett family if I don’t save her, and if there wasn’t a fucking storm wrecking the island, I would’ve dragged Connie back to the mainland and made sure she stayed put. As it is, I now have another person to watch over because she couldn’t do as she was damn well told.
Right now as I stand in the kitchen, checking my equipment over and over, I’m trying my hardest not to suffocate with fear, but it’s like a poisonous snake that has wrapped around my heart and punctured it with pointed teeth, killing me slowly with every damn heartbeat.
I’m afraid. So fucking scared I’m going to lose her.
Ever since our blow up this morning, Connie and I have barely said a word to each other. At one point, I’d almost given in and thrown myself at her feet. When we’d all gathered in the kitchen for the breakfasts she’d made us, I’d stood next to her, both of us resting against the sink as Ma Silva introduced herself to the gang. Connie’s indignation and her anger was still very potent. She truly believes she loves me, and even though I want to believe it, I can’t even entertain the idea because I can’t be free to live, let alone love, until the King’s dead. Even then, I’m not sure I’m capable of giving Connie what she needs.
Yet, despite my anger and my fear, I’d slid my hand closer to hers, as always drawn to her inexplicably. My pinkie finger had barely grazed her skin, but she’d snatched her hand away as though I’d burnt her. That only made me feel a thousand times worse because in my view her anger wasn’t justified,minewas.
I still feel justified in my anger as I stalk into the living room all geared up. Ma Silva is sitting in her armchair, dressed and ready to go, the rest of the group are scattered about the room perched on the sofas and the coffee table. Fuck knows what Grim was thinking when she suggested I use these kids to help me rescue their friend Pink. Glancing about the room at the waiting group, I scowl.
“You ready?”
“Look at all that gear,” Camden remarks, eying me warily. Of the six, he’s the most clued up. I don’t know much about the kid other than the fact that until recently he’s been gang leader to the Hackney’s Hackers crew. Their name most definitely proceeds them. A savage gang who deal drugs for the King and do his bidding in their hometown of Hackney. Now Camden has thrown away his title as gang leader and has decided to fight back against the man who murdered his mum. That takes balls. Begrudgingly I give him a nod, acknowledging that, like me, he’s had to fight to survive more than most.
“Got any more of those?” Eastern asks me. He’s the dark-haired best friend of Asia. Grew up together, thick as thieves, and given by the way she’s looking at him, lovers too. I’m pretty sure she’s sleeping with all four of them: Camden, Eastern, Ford and Sonny. Not that it’s any of my damn business. Besides, I like that about Asia. She knows what she wants, and she’ll fight tooth and nail for it. She also doesn’t give a flying fuck what people think, and that takes gumption and a sense of self that not many kids her age have. Eastern raises his eyebrows at me, waiting for a response.
“No. I don’t give weapons to kids,” I snap, pulling out my mobile phone and checking for messages. They may think they know how to handle a gun, a knife even, but not on my fucking watch. If any of the King’s guards get close enough then they can use their fists. I’ll take out any fuckers with weapons.
“Now I really do feel like we’re on the set of Mission Impossible… who the fuck is this guy?” Sonny, the dimpled arsehole, smirks.
Shoving my mobile away, I glare at him. “Your worst fucking nightmare, or your best friend, depending on how you choose to conduct yourself. Don’t piss me off and you’ll do fine,” I add with a growl, laughing internally at the comparison. Mission Impossible? I’m no fucking Tom Cruise and I’m certainly not a hero.
“Well, that shut me up,” Sonny mutters, shooting Asia a wide-eyed look. Better they fear me than like me. They’ll be a lot safer that way. Casting my gaze about the room, I realise we’re missing one very important person.
“Has Connie seen sense and is staying behind?” I ask the group. “Because I really don’t need another obnoxious kid to look after. She’s a liability.”
Ma Silva raises her eyebrows, glaring at me. “Connie is quite a resilient young woman as you well know, so I suggest you start treating her with a little more respect or face my wrath,” she warns. “Now, you apologise for calling my granddaughter an obnoxious kid.”
Glaring at Ma Silva, I open my mouth to respond but am interrupted by Little Siren herself as she sashays into the room.
Holy fucking Christ, this girl.
My gut twists, my cock twitches, my soul fucking roars, and my heart nearly explodes out of my chest. She’s a goddess. She’s a torment. She’smine.
Connie stares at me, and for a beat we only have eyes for one another. Sometimes I wonder if the world actually stops spinning when we’re together, because it certainly feels that way.
She’s wearing an emerald velvet dress that hugs her body in all the wrong fucking places, given who she’s about to have fucking dinner with. The dress is classy, hitting just above the knee and with a neckline that traces the curve of her breasts, dipping at the middle to show just a hint of cleavage. She’s wearing knee high boots that are way more provocative than I believe she intended. Overall, the effect is stunning. She’s stunning.
Fuck this. I donotwant the King drooling all over her.
“Thanks Grandma, but I wouldn’t bother. Like you said, Malakai is a fortress, there’s no point in trying to make a rude, pig-headed arse with zero manners apologise to anyone.” She smiles sweetly at me, her cherry lips glossy and plump.
Pushing me, always pushing me to act. Any other day I’d take her up on the challenge, but not today. I narrow my eyes at her. I’m fucking livid, but if I lose my shit now I won’t be able to stay focused enough to do what must be done.
“Connie, child, you look absolutely stunning,” Ma Silva says gently, her gaze flicking to mine. There’s so much love in them, and fear, but she hides it well.
“You think?” she responds, swiping her hands over the velvety material as though this is just a pleasant outing that might not end in a bloody, painful death for us all. We’re about to go to war and they’re talking about how good she looks in a dress. This only proves to me Connie has absolutely no fucking clue about what she’s walking into.
