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“Yeah, I guess,” I mumble, my words catching in my throat.
Dax bends closer and whispers in my ear. “Actually, screw them if they don’t see what they have right in front of them. You’remylucky coin, Pen. I’ll always take care of you.”
My heart kind of does a summersault in my chest at his protective words and I sink into his side, wanting more than anything to wrap my arms around his waist but knowing if I do, I won’t be able to hide my true feelings towards him. We haven’t mentioned the kiss since it happened. We haven’t kissed again either and it’s not because I don’t want to, because I do.
I really, really do.
I’ve thought of nothing else.
Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve been thinking about the others daily, wondering what it would feel like if they were to kiss me too. I’m a greedy, thirsty bitch, and my heads been all over the place because of it.
“Dax…” I respond, pulling back to meet his gaze, the last thing I want is to get between them all. We should never have crossed that line. I’ve been so careful not to show my true feelings, to keep everything under wraps until that night when he almost killed a man for my honour. No one has ever stuck up for me like that before. I’ve always had to fight my own battles.
“It’s okay, Kid. I get it.” He looks away from me, but I see the tenseness in his jaw and the flicker of pain in his eyes. There’s so much left unsaid between us and I know I should be braver than I am and talk to him. I just can’t do that now with everyone watching.
“You don’t understand,” I say, trying to make him see that it isn’t him. It’s me. I’m the one who has fallen for all of her best friends. I’m the one who’s in the wrong.
Ever since I walked in on Xeno dancing in the basement with his ex-girlfriend a few months ago, I’ve not been the same. Jealousy plagues me daily, and not just with Xeno. If any of my Breakers looks at a girl, let alone makes one their girlfriend it takes everything in me not to rage at the world.
They’re mine.
Except they’re not, not really, not in that way. We’re friends. We’re the best of friends and I just happen to be in love with all of them.
Twenty minutes after he left, Xeno returns with flushed cheeks and a smug look on his face that he settles on me the second he walks into the room. I down the last of my drink and heave a sigh. What is it with him tonight?
“I need the toilet,” I mumble, pulling out of Dax’s hold and entering the bathroom. I really should go home instead of crashing here like I do most weekends. Mum doesn’t care where I am, and if it wasn’t for Lena worrying about me, I would always stay out. Deciding that it’s best I head off, I push open the door to find Dax and Xeno toe-to-toe, York trying to break them up and Zayn shaking his head as though he’s hallucinating and not actually witnessing his best friends going at it.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, arsehole!” Dax growls, pressing his finger into Xeno’s chest.
“Do that again, motherfucker, and I’ll knock you out!” Xeno explodes, shoving Dax with both hands.
I don’t think. I act.
Rushing forward I get in between them both. I might be small, but I won’t let that stop me. They might have tussled over the years I’ve known them, but I’ve never seen them like this with each other. Not ever.
“Get out of the way, Tiny,” Xeno growls, not taking his eyes off Dax.
“No. I won’t. You two need to calm the fuck down!”
“Fuck, guys. Lay off each other, alright?” York intercedes, trying and failing to get them to stop.
“Fuck you too, York. Acting like you don’t fucking know!”
“Know what?” Zayn pipes up, getting to his feet. He’s still high, but this seems to be sobering him up fast.
“Listen, we can talk about this,” York insists, a look passing between him and Dax. “We’re friends. We’re a team, a crew. Don’t do this…”
But Xeno doesn’t listen, he shoves me to the side and punches Dax. I fall sideways, smacking my head against the corner of the upturned wooden crate that we use as a coffee table.
“Fuck! Is she okay? I didn’t mean to hurt her…” I hear Xeno say before I pass out.
* * *
I groan,my eyelids fluttering open as my vision blurs with colours and shapes. A sharp pain lances through my skull and I reach upwards automatically, only to find someone else’s hand already pressed against the spot that hurts. Blinking back the tears that spring to my eyes, I try and focus. Eventually, the colours and shapes form into a familiar person.
“She’s awake,” Dax says gently, looking down at me in relief. He’s cupping my face with his free hand and stroking his thumb over my cheekbone. I try to sit up, but he shakes his head. “Not yet, you need to be still for a bit longer.”
“Bloody fuck, my head hurts,” I grumble, heeding his warning.
