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“Then?” York asks softly.
“I feel the same about you,” I admit, staring at York. He swallows hard. Some of the easiness in his smile fading. I drag my gaze away and look at Zayn who seems more than a little shocked by my admission. “And you too, Zayn. I hate it when you flirt with other girls.” Finally I settle my gaze on Xeno, who’s turned around to face me now. “I wished it was me you were kissing earlier, Xeno.” He doesn’t say anything, and I can’t get a good read on him to figure out what he’s thinking either. “Now you know. I’m sorry for fucking things up. I’m sorry, okay? I’ll go.”
“No. Stay.” Xeno suddenly growls, scowling at me just like that first day when I turned up with York two years ago. He strides towards us. “We sort this out now.”
“You’re angry,” I state.
“Tell her, Xeno. Tell her the real reason why you hit me, why you’re so angry,” Dax demands.
“Because you were getting on my fucking nerves!” he retorts.
“Bullshit. There’s more to it than that.”
“Fuck you, Dax,” Xeno mutters, gritting his jaw.
“I’m going. This was a bad idea.” Angry tears brim in my eyes and I’m furious at myself for fucking this all up. I don’t regret kissing Dax but maybe I wished I’d thought about the consequences of kissing him before I crossed that line.
“Don’t do that, Pen.” Zayn rushes to his feet, reaching for me. He places his finger under my chin, and lifts it so that I look up at him. My heart stops beating when his night-time eyes flash with interest, as though he’s seeing me clearly for the first time.
Dax stands behind me, stepping close. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind and rests his chin on the top of my head. Without saying anything, he’s making a point. That he’ll always have my back. That I can count on him. No matter what. Zayn’s nostrils flare, but he doesn’t move away. In fact, he steps closer. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Xeno grit his teeth. York stands, placing his hand on Xeno’s shoulder all the while looking at me. He’s not smiling this time, but I recognise that look, it’s the same one he gives to the girls he’s interested in. What’s happening here?
“You said you wanted to kiss us all, is that right, Pen?” Zayn asks.
“Yes.”
“Okay then.”
“Zayn!” Xeno grinds out, but I’m oblivious to anything else as Zayn steps closer, cups my face in his hands and presses his lips against my own without hesitation, like he’s been waiting to do this for some time.
At first I’m too shocked to react, but when Dax brushes his lips against my ear, whispering that it’s okay, my mouth parts and allows Zayn’s tongue to slip inside, stroking mine softly, tentatively. A moan releases and I know I should be embarrassed, but I’m not. I wanted this.
Iwantthis.
My hands reach up and clutch Zayn’s t-shirt, my fists scrunching the material up in my hands. The kiss goes from gentle and searching to desperate and hungry, and even though a tiny voice is trying to remind me where I am and who is watching, an even bigger one is yelling at me to just go with it. When Zayn’s dick hardens and he pulls back, looking sheepish, I realise that this isn’t just two friends experimenting, this is so much more than that.
“Fuck, Pen,” he mutters, his cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are wide.
My hands fly up to my lips and press against them. They feel swollen and tender, just like all the words lodged in my throat.
“You fucking prick,” Xeno snarls at Zayn who shrugs, grinning stupidly.
Ignoring Xeno and giving my hand a gentle squeeze before letting it go, Zayn motions to York, a question in his gaze. York, for the first time ever, is lost for words.
Xeno whirls around to face him, “Don’t you fucking dare!”
But York looks past Xeno and directly to me. “Do you still want to kiss me, Titch?”
Do I? I’m still reeling from Zayn’s kiss. From the truth being out there in the open. It’s freeing but scary as hell. I don’t want them to think I’m a slut. “I… erm… Is this okay? I mean… I’m not, you know… You don’t think I’m a…”Slut, I think, unable to say the word out loud.
“Titch, you’re our girl.Ours. We’d never think bad of you. If it helps, I really,reallywant to kiss you. Besides, the third time’s a charm, right?” He cocks his head to the side, and I try and blank out the almost deranged look on Xeno’s face. He looks like he wants to rip York’s head off but then also, kinda like he wants to kiss me too… I don’t know. I’m never really certain where Xeno’s concerned.
“Well, Titch? I can wait, if that’s what you want…” he voice trails off, and I see the disappointment clear as day.
“No!” I blurt out. He flinches, but I shake my head. “I mean no, I don’t want you to wait. I want you to kiss me, York.”
He grins suddenly. “Are you ready for the best fucking kiss of your life?”
Behind me Dax chuckles, and Zayn scoffs.
