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He lifts his gaze slowly to meet mine, and I draw in a deep breath at the utter despair I see reflected back at me. The split in his brow is scabbed over, but he still has bruising around his cheek and there are bags beneath his eyes that tell me he hasn’t slept much these past couple of days.
“Why didn’t you have a choice, Pen?” Xeno asks. His voice is dangerously low, and I’m not immune to the murderous edge I hear within it. Holding his hands in mine, and gently rubbing my thumbs across his fingers, avoiding the bruised and split knuckles, I tell him.
“Because I had to protect Lena. I had to protect you all.”
“Fuckingwhat!” Dax exclaims, but I refuse to look at him. I might lose my nerve if I do.
“Do you remember after the battle at Rocks, after we won, I went missing for a while?”
“You were withJeb.” Xeno spits his name out like poison, and for a moment he turns his head away, not able to look at me.
“Not at first. That wasafter…” I swallow hard, forcing myself to get the words out. “Before that point, my brother had a few things he wanted to tell me.” Xeno’s head whips back around to face me. His eyes narrow into slits.
“Whatdid he have to say to you?”
“My brother gave me an ultimatum. Walk away from you all or see Lena dead.”
“THAT MOTHERFUCKER!” Dax roars, and I flinch.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Zayn grip Dax’s arm. “Be calm,” he says.
I look over at York and he nods, encouraging me to go on.
“David admitted he had—” I have to swallow the bile burning in my throat at the memory of his words. “He admitted that he had feelings for me. He wasjealousof you all. He blamed me for his sickness.”
“That perverted fuck!” Zayn snarls.
“David said he would kill Lena if I didn’t walk away from you. You have to understand that I couldn’t let him hurt my little sister.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything, Pen? Why?!” Xeno exclaims, sitting upright. He glares at me.
“I was scared…” I blink back the tears I feel pricking at my eyes as Xeno stands and starts pacing back and forth.
“We could’ve done something. We could’ve helped! You have to know that, right?”
He pulls at his hair and I stand too, watching him as I hug myself. “Icouldn’t. That wasn’t the only nightmare I lived through that night.”
“What do you mean?” Xeno snaps, cutting me in half with his emerald gaze.
“After David’s threat, I somehow ended up walking in on Jeb getting his cock sucked by some random dude.”
“Jesus fucking Christ. This just keeps getting better,” Dax says from behind us.
“Jeb has kept his sexual preferences hidden for years. I don’t know why he’s so fucking worried about it, but when I walked in on him, I knew I’d seen something I shouldn’t have. I ran, but he caught up with me—”
“What the fuck did he do to you, Pen?” Zayn asks, this time it’s him who’s unable to control his anger. He gets to his feet, anger blazing across his face.
“He took me to a room and shot the man who was supposed to be keeping watch whilst he was getting sucked-off. He blew his brains out.”
They’re all silent for a moment, shock rendering them speechless. “He fucking blew his brains out because I saw something I shouldn’t have.”
“And then?” Xeno finally asks.
“He considered shooting me too.” I laugh bitterly at the memory. “Instead, he said that if I could keep his secret, then he would let me go. He would let me be with you all…”
“But you couldn’t do that, could you?” York asks gently, knowingly.
I shake my head sadly. “How could I, York? David would’ve killed Lena if I did.”
