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“Tiny, my mind’s made up…”
“Don’t our opinions matter at all?” she asks.
“I’m doing this for them as much as I’m doing it for you.”
She steps forward, cocking her head to the side as she studies me with knowing eyes. “Don’t do that, Xeno. Don’t lie to me, not now. This is aboutyourfear,yourpain,youranger. You’re not thinking about the rest of us,” she retorts. Her voice might be low, soft, sensual in a way that rouses me, but anger still flares to life within it. “This is a selfish reaction.”
“I’m protecting you,” I counter in frustration. “I’m doing this so they don’t have to. Soyoucan be safe from that fucking monster.”
“You’re willing to die, for what? So my brother can have the satisfaction of killing the man I love.”
“I wasn’t sure if that was still the case,” I say, meeting her gaze, wanting to be certain. It’s a fucking needy thing to say, and fuck knows I’ve never been needy, but right now I want the truth.
“What, that I love you?”
“That you loveanyof us still.”
“Do you think I would still be here if I didn’t? God, you’re so fucking infuriating!”
“I don’t know. Maybe when this is all over, you’ll walk away again?” It’s a low blow and one I instantly regret, but instead of apologizing like a decent human being, I fold my arms across my chest and press my lips into a hard line.
Tiny presses her fingers against her eyes, her small, delicate hands shaking. When she looks at me again there’s determination in her stare, and her fingers are balled into fists, the fight I always knew she still possessed revealing itself to me. “That was a shitty thing to say, Xeno. I love you. All of you. That hasn’t changed. Though you’re determined to make it hard for me.”
“But is it enough?”
“Ithasto be,” she replies with a firm nod of her head. “What I’m feeling. It will pass.”
Despite her conviction, I hear the doubt in her voice. It guts me like nothing else does. “We never lied to you… Not about what we’ve become.”
“I know that but knowing who you are and seeing it with my own eyes are two very different things. It’s…a lot.”
I nod. “I don’t deny that. It will be over soon.”
“Sooner, if you have your way.”
“Iwillkill David. That fucker has to die.”
Tiny’s nostrils flare as she draws in a frustrated breath. “There are other ways to gut a pig, ways that don’t involve you leaving the country and taking this on by yourself,” she counters.
“Fuck, Tiny. Why can’t you trust me to do this? Have a little faith.”
She shakes her head, her anger blazing now. “Thisisn’tabout trust or faith, Xeno. This isaboutus. They love you.Ilove you and we can’t let you do this. I won’t let you do this!” she says, fiercely, her whispered words, harsh. Her cheeks might be flushed, and her hair ruffled from sleep, but there’s no softness left in her words now. This is an order, one that tightens a hold around my heart.
“Tiny, it’s non-negotiable.”
“Bullshit… I spent the last three years thinking about you all. Longing for you. Loving you, fuckinghatingyou. I’ve only just got you all back and I refuse to accept a future without you in it! You stupid, stubborn bastard!” she exclaims, stepping into my space and jabbing her finger into my chest with every word.
“Tiny,” I warn, gritting my teeth.
“No! He’smybrother. Don’t you think I’m owed retribution?”
“So that’s what this is about? You want to be the one to put the bullet in his brain… I didn’t think you had it in you,” I reply, the words coming out harsher than I’d intended.
“I don’t want to kill anyone. Fuck! I’ve seen what taking someone’s life has done to you all. I want David to rot in jail for the rest of his life knowing that I’m on the outside living and loving andhappywith the men I love. That would be worse than death for my brother. A bullet to the brain is too kind, too quick. I know that much, at least.”
Her chest heaves with agitation as she curls her fingers into my top, glaring at me. Beneath her touch my heart beats wildly, enraged at her persistent need to fucking push me. I feel the familiar tightness in my throat and the sickness in my stomach that will only abate when I appease the beast within. I will see this through or die trying.
“Do you remember what you said to me after that night at Rocks? Dotheyeven know what you said to me?”
