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“I fucking need her,” I repeat, dropping my head.
“Weallneed her, Xeno. She needs you too, just not like this…” His voice trails off and there’s no denying the haunted look in his eyes.
“What?” I snap. Dax draws in a shaky breath. Whatever he’s feeling now is more than just him being pissy at me for losing my cool, not that I had much to begin with.
“She ain’t coping well with what happened, Xeno.”
I frown. “What are you saying?”
“Kid hates violence. You know that. She saw us covered in blood, tooled up, fucking raging. We killed men in front of her.”
“We had no choice!”
“I know that, I believe she does too. Regardless, this ain’t easy for her to swallow. We’ve lived this life for a long time. Kid has done everything in her power to stay out of it. She’s fragile right now. She blames herself for what happened that night.”
“This isnoton her!”
“I know that. We all do.” Dax sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “She chose to fight back. We encouraged her to do that. You know as well as I do that the dance she performed was for her brother, to show him that he hasn’t crushed her spirit or her courage. She sent him a message, and he responded. The guilt is eating her up.”
“She’s stronger than you give her credit for, Dax. She’s had to be.”
“Sometimes even the strongest ones break. Give her some time. At least allow her to fucking sleep,please.”
“And I suppose you’re the one who’s going to be there for her, picking up the pieces.”
Dax sighs, running a hand over his head. “It ain’t like that. I’m not keeping her from you. Fuck, you know I love you motherfuckers, that I loveus, the five of us. You’re my family, arsehole, but Ialwaysswore to protect her. I didn’t. None of us did. We let her down. I owe her this, and the rest of you owe her the best men you can be. If that means me stepping in when you’re all acting like pricks, then I fucking will,” Dax retorts.
He’s a stubborn fucker. He’s also right. I tell him as much despite my pride.
“You’re right. You always fucking are, but know this Dax, I’ll be doing the same. When you lose your shit—and I know you, I see the violence brewing inside of you—then be prepared for me to step in, just like you are now.”
“I’d expect nothing less,” Dax nods, then squeezes my shoulder and enters his bedroom shutting the door behind him.
* * *
“Xeno, can I come in?”
I jump out of bed, startled awake the moment I hear Tiny’s voice.
“Hey,” I say, opening the door. She looks up at me, her brown eyes limned in a sadness that makes my heart contract painfully. Fuck.
“I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“I’ve slept enough. Is Dax awake?” I ask, looking over her shoulder and down the corridor. The door to his bedroom is closed as are York’s and Zayn’s.
“No, he’s still sleeping. York and Zayn too, I checked.”
“I’m not surprised, it’s been a rough few days…” My voice trails off as she regards me, hovering in the hallway, uncertain. Stepping aside, my heart pumps wildly as she brushes past me and I breathe in her familiar scent. Closing the door, I lean against it, taking my fill of her messy hair and flushed cheeks as sleep still lingers in the softness of her gaze and relaxed posture.
“What about you, have you slept?” she asks, frowning.
“I’ve had a few hours.”
“Good…” Her voice trails off as she fiddles with the hem of her top. I can’t help but notice the slight tremor in her hands and I’m reminded of what Dax had said. Being strong takes its toll. We all have our limits, and maybe this time, Tiny has hit hers.
“I’m glad you came. I wanted to talk to you, clear the air...” I begin.
“By talk, you meantellme you’re going to Mexico to kill my brother.”
