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15
Pen
“So this is nice,” I say from my position on the floor, taking a huge bite out of my slice of pepperoni pizza. It’s been a long day of dancing and rehearsals, so being here with the guys in their own flat is just what I needed, especially after seeing the body snatched version of my mum this afternoon and finding out Xeno has been sending my sister care packages. I still haven’t brought it up with him yet, but now seems the perfect time. My mum’s new attitude might’ve floored me, but Xeno’s involvement does even more so. I’m not convinced she’s turned over a new leaf, but for my sister’s sake I have to hope she has.
“Nice?” Dax drops down on the floor beside me, placing three beers on the coffee table. He wraps his arm around my shoulder then leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“Yes, I’ve missed being with you like this. It feels so normal, natural. I’ve missed hanging out with you all.”
“We’ve missed you too, Kid. So fucking much,” Dax replies, his voice gruff with emotion and I know he isn’t just talking about this week.
I snuggle closer into his side, breathing in his scent as my fingers trail across his chest, rimming the V-neck of his t-shirt. He smells so fucking good, and the skin on his chest is smooth and hair free. I’m pretty sure he waxes. For all his rugged good looks and manliness, he’s quite the metrosexual man. I love that about him. Opposite, Xeno leans over and grabs a beer, chucking another crust into the empty pizza box. He swallows down a mouthful, peering at us both as he does so. He’s thoughtful this evening, quiet in a way that’s unsettling.
“Xeno, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Lena told me something interesting today…” My voice trails off as I try to broach the subject.
“Is this because I paid your mum a visit?” he asks me, resting his beer back on the table.
“Yes, that and the fact you’ve been sending Lena care packages.”
“Ah, those.” He flicks his gaze to Dax. “You told her?”
“No, Lena did,” Dax replies.
“Why?” I ask him. “I mean, I’m grateful that you’ve been looking out for her, but why do that?”
He blows out a breath, his green eyes glinting with emotions I can’t decipher. “Because I wanted to do something right. I wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“But she started receiving stuff just before I auditioned for Stardom,” I point out, confused, and honestly a little hurt. The fact he sent her gifts and not me stings a little, not because I wanted those things, but because of the thought that went behind it.
“It was because…” Xeno swipes a hand through his hair, the curls bouncing back the second his hands pass over the strands.
“What, Xeno?” I press, trying to understand. Beside me Dax remains quiet, not giving Xeno an out by stepping in, despite how tense this conversation is getting.
“I saw Lena with her friends in the high street a few days after we came back to Hackney. She was mucking about, skipping school actually,” he explains, a tiny smile of amusement lifting up his lips.
“Bunking off school…!”
“Don’t be pissed. She’s just being a kid. We did a lot worse, remember?” Dax reminds me.
“You might be right, but she doesn’t know that. I want her to get an education,” I retort, feeling prickly about the subject because Dax is right, we were worse,a lotworse.
“I decided to stick around and check out what she was doing. I watched her go into a store with her mates then a few minutes later come out with a rucksack full of stuff she’d nicked.”
“What? She was shoplifting?! I’m going to murder her!” I exclaim.
“Yeah, they went into a café after and she divided up her haul between her mates. She didn’t notice me grabbing a coffee. Anyway, I figured I’d send her stuff so she wouldn’t need to go nicking.” He shrugs as though that’s enough of an explanation.
“But that doesn’t explainwhy.She’s not your responsibility, Xeno.”
“Lena’s a good kid. I didn’t want her getting into shit.”
“Xeno… Fess up,” Dax says, locking gazes with Xeno. “Come on, man. Tell her.”
He sighs. “At the time I convinced myself I did what I did because I wanted to keep Lena out of trouble, and that’s still true…”
