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“You may leave,” Jakub says curtly, with a wave of his hand.
“Sir,Ma’am,” Renard says, dipping his head to me.
All three men stiffen at his respectful gesture, but Renard doesn’t apologise for it. He simply nods, places his hand on the centre of Nala’s back and walks away. She glances at me over her shoulder, a warm smile on her face.
I know she believes in The Masks.
She sees three handsome, mysterious men, dressed up in fine black suits sitting beside a woman wearing a pretty dress, and envisions a fairy tale, not the grim truth. She’s blind to the stitches on my back, the cuts, to the chastity belt digging into my skin, causing red welts from where it’s rubbed too hard. She refuses to notice the lingering darkness in their gaze. She doesn’t see the cage that surrounds me, or the way these men play with my life like I’m a toy, a puppet on a string. She doesn’t understand how twisted up I am by them.
“Nala is a fine maid. Renard has trained her well,” Jakub comments, noticing my attention on her. “Has she been fulfilling all her duties to your satisfaction?”
“Mysatisfaction?”
“Yes, who else's? She’s your maid, after all.”
“I’ve no need for a maid. I don’t want one.”I don’t want to be here.
“You don’t like the company?” Konrad asks, genuinely interested.
“It’s not that I don’t like the company. Nala is sweet, but she doesn’t understand the way of the world…” My voice trails off as I feel the weight of their stare. The truth is, she’s been a breath of fresh air, and I’ve needed her more than I care to admit. “She wishes for things thatcannotcome true.”
“What things?” Jakub asks, resting his elbows on the table and steepling his fingers beneath his chin.
“The things all girls who’ve yet to be damaged by life want…happily ever afters. She doesn’t understand that they don’t exist.”
Leon scoffs. “You think you’re so fucking insightful, don’t you? You’ve no idea what Nala has lived through. None.”
“Leon,” Konrad warns, fearing that he’s about to spill a truth they don’t wish me to hear. What they don’t realise is that I already know so much. Growing up here in this castle Nala’s been sheltered from the world. Her start in life isn’t one I’d wish on my worst enemy, but she’s not suffered the traumas that I have, that these men so clearly have at the hands of their father.
She’s been cared for, protected, loved, and whilst I’ve experienced those things too, I’ve also experienced unimaginable pain just like The Masks.
“Perhaps I don’t know everything she’s been through,” I reply. “But I recognise when a person has grown up without experiencing trauma. Or at least remembering it enough to be affected by it consciously.”
Jakub shifts in his seat. “What has she told you?” His voice is even, level, but there’s no denying the caution in it.Shit.
“Don’t blame her. She was just trying to make me feel secure.Safe.” I laugh bitterly, shaking my head.
“What did she tell you?” Jakub insists.
“Nala told me you found her in the forest as a baby. She told me the three of you took care of her until Renard stepped in. She told me you were good once.”
Silence descends. Oppressive, heavy, weighted with ghosts of the past.
“We were foolish.Weak. We’re not good anymore,” Leon says, his voice frosty, clipped.
I can’t argue with him there. They are unapologetically bad, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to get inside their heads, just like they’ve got inside of mine.
“So you were weak because you sheltered a baby, foolish because you wanted to help Nala? That’s called empathy,kindness. Why is that so wrong?” I press. “What happened to you all?”
“We grew the fuck up,” Leon replies tightly. “We became men. We became strong.”
“Being an adult doesn’t mean you have to lose any of that. A real man isn’t afraid of kindness, empathy,love. Christ, he really fucked you up, didn’t he?”
“You’ve no idea what you’re talking about. The Collectormadeus,” Leon counters. “Kindness, love, empathy, it’s bullshit. It’s weakness.”
“No. It’sstrength,” I insist.
Leon sneers at me, then grabs his glass of wine and takes a sip. Opposite us, Jakub watches our exchange in silence. He’s thoughtful, quiet, on edge. Konrad, however, is grinning from ear-to-ear.
