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Chapter 24
JAKUB
Dawn breaks through the thick canopy above my head, rays of sunlight heating up the mossy, damp earth I’m lying on as insects and wildlife come to life around me. A mosquito lands on my forearm, puncturing a slither of skin that isn’t covered in a thick layer of mud. I don’t flick it away, content to watch it feed from me as I slowly wake up, revelling in the aches and pains that I feel from hours spent roaming the forest.
Once the mosquito has drunk its fill and flies away, leaving a tiny droplet of blood on my skin, I push up onto my hands and knees. My fingers curl into the dirt as I lift my head and breathe in deeply, marvelling at the way this place, of all places, is where I go to exorcise my demons.
Once upon a time, I hated this forest.
I hated the tiny cabin situated right in the heart of it. The one that still stands. The one that has my blood encrusted in its walls.
I hated the smell of earth and mud.
I hated the river that runs through it, and the twisted trees that loom overhead.
Now Iwantto be here.
It’s no longer the place my father had to drag me kicking and screaming as a boy so he could teach me how to be a man.
Now it’s my sanctuary.
After cutting off One five years ago I needed an outlet. I needed somewhere to shed my emotions and rid myself of weakness. My father was right to be persistent with his lessons. He understood that what I needed was to be reminded of my base needs, my animal instinct, my need to fight.
Fuck emotion.
Fuck feelings that mess with your head.
Fuck love.
Fuck that most of all.
I came here to deal with my unwanted emotions, to purge them from my system because even now, even after everything my father taught me, they still fucking haunt me. It’s been a fight I’ve had to battle every fucking day of my life.
And nowshe’shere, it’s only gotten worse…
Fuck that. Screw her.
I won’t allow her in my head a second longer.
Gritting my teeth, I stand, the muscles in my legs trembling from the exertion. I’m naked, covered head to toe in mud, my skin cut up from the countless times I’ve caught myself on low-hanging branches and prickly shrubs as I’ve run through the forest trying to free myself of this excess energy, these unwanted feelings.
The only thing I’m wearing is my smartwatch and that’s telling me I need to get back to the castle because later today I have a business meeting to attend to in the city. Which is just as well, because, despite feeling more myself, Istillneed the distraction.
Guilt, anger, motherfucking lust, it all battles for my attention and whilst I might’ve rid myself of the tiny scrap of empathy I was beginning to feel because of her, those other feelings stubbornly remain.
“FUCKKKKKKKKK!” I tip my head back and roar into the forest, sending ravens up into the air, squawking and cawing over my sudden outburst.
She came all over my face and I liked it. I took her to my room of curiosities then fucked her mouth with my dick.
Then I hid what I did from my brothers.
I LIED to them.
And you lied to her too,a tiny voice inside my head says.
“Shut the fuck up!” I shout, slapping myself so hard that I stumble sideways. That little voice inside my head, the one that’s been taunting me ever since we took her is determined to make me crack.
“Leave me the fuck alone!”
