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One look at Lily and I knew I still wasn’t over her, or anything that had to do with her for that matter. Maybe this whole thing would be easier if Lily didn’t look like the spitting image of her sister. Maybe I could look at her without feeling like my heart is bleeding, shattering into a million pieces all over again.
When I pull up to the dorm, she’s already waiting for me, standing at the curb like she’s waiting at a bus stop. As soon as I see her all the feelings in my gut swirl together.
Guilt, anger, loss, and… lust, the worst feeling of all. They all blend together like a wet painting, the colors bleeding, seeping into one another, making it harder to decipher one from the other. She climbs into the Jeep, sliding slowly on to the leather seat.
She isn’t wearing anything sexy, thank fuck for that. Still, I can’t help but look at her legs as she buckles up, and I have to fight the urge to not reach over and run my hand over her thigh.
Not, Amy. Not fucking, Amy.
“Thanks for picking me up,” she says softly, as I pull out of the dorm’s parking lot. I try my best not to white knuckle the steering wheel. The last thing I need is for her to realize she has any type of effect on me. That would make all of this worse.
“No problem,” I respond tight-lipped.
A second, then two, then three passes, and I exhale a breath, but as I’m sucking in another, I’m assaulted by her sweet but exotic scent. She smells like what I would consider a tropical island; coconut and vanilla.
Fucking Christ. I choke on the air in my lungs and start to cough. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Lily watching me cautiously like I’m a hungry lion who hasn’t eaten in days. Truthfully, I haven’t eaten in about a year, but that’s none of her business.
“Are you okay?” Again, her voice penetrates my skull, and while her voice is a pleasant sound, it still finds a way to annoy me.
“Fine.” The word comes out more like a hiss, the message behind it is clear… back off and leave me alone. Even in the low light of the car, I catch her shocked expression. Her beautiful features twist into confusion before she turns away from me.
I know I’m an asshole for brushing her off, it’s not like it’s her fault that she looks like her sister, but I don’t know what else to do other than to push her away. I just can’t bear to be around her and if that makes me a selfish prick, so what. I won’t stop. If she’s uncomfortable around me, she’ll stay away, which is the entire purpose.
The rest of the drive she stares out the window, and I stare out onto the road. Neither of us speak, making the tension in the car so thick it’s hard to breathe.
I’m anxious as fuck by the time we arrive at my father’s house and all but bolt from the car. Sucking a sharp breath into my lungs, I exhale her stupidly good scent. It clings to my nostrils, refusing to let go, just like her presence.
By the time I walk around the car, Lily has already gotten out and is walking toward the front door without me. Very well. I follow her to the porch where she stops, waiting on the doorstep. Holding my breath, I brush by her and open the door without knocking. It’s not like I’m an unwelcome guest.
We step inside, and I can already hear Rem’s loud voice carrying through the house. I follow the sounds of laughter through the hallway and into the living room, while Lily follows close behind. I don’t have to look back to know she is, it’s like I can feel her haunting presence.
“There you are!” Rem calls, a beer already in his hand. I tip my chin toward him, Dad, and Lex.
Jules who is sitting beside him lights up, her eyes landing on Lily as she gets up from the sofa and walks over to greet us.
“Happy birthday,” I tell her as I give her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.
“Thank you,” she says before letting me go and looking at Lily next to me. “Lily, I’m so glad you made it. It’s been so long.”
“It has, but I’m so happy to be here, to celebrate with you. I just hope I’m not intruding.”
“God, no. We’re practically family.” Jules smiles infectiously.
I try not to stare as they hug, and instead walk straight into the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. I don’t want to see their reunion or any shred of happiness. Twisting the cap off my beer, I toss it into the trash. If I didn’t have to drive, I’d grab something stronger, something that would make me forget her completely, at least, for a little while.
