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She can’t hold up the damn mirror and make me see.
She can’t make us want her if she’s dead.
Because Jakub was right, Idowant her. She makes me wish for things I cannot have. She makes me crave softness, kindness, warmth…love.
Love.
Fuck!
FUCK!
Love hurts. Love is a mother selling you to pay off her debts. Love is feeling, and feeling is pain. Love is poison. It’s suffering and heartbreak.
Love is weakness.
Kill. Her. Do it!his voice shouts. My fingers tighten.
I can see the agony in her eyes. I can see the pain and the desperation. The utter terror.
I can also see the rage.
It burns brightly, fiercely.
If looks could kill, I would be dead.
Shehatesme.
And I deserve nothing less.
I’m the monster she believes me to be. I always was.
But why does that hurt so much? Why does it kill me to know that’s the truth when only days ago I revelled in that fact…Why?
She stares at me, her eyes filled with tears that tip over her lashes and down her face in streaks dripping onto my wrists.
Drip, drip, drip.
So many tears. I remember the ones she cried years ago when I laid her down on the damp grass. When we had both been children unknowingly caught up in a war between our two families. She had looked at me like I was an angel and for a moment in time, I had allowed myself to be her hero.
Could I be that now? Could I save her?
Time ceases to exist as I contemplate that thought. There’s nothing but me and her, just us. And somehow I’m back in the past again, the tip of my nose pressing gently against hers as we look into each other’s eyes...
“I thought you were dead.”
“I’m not?” she replies.
“No, you’re not.” I smile. “You’re stubborn.”
“Who are you?” she croaks, and I find myself grazing my fingers over her cheek. The pain is gone from her eyes, and a sweet kind of serenity replaces it instead.
“I’m nobody. I wasn’t here. You won’t remember me when you wake up.”
“Because I’m dying?”
“Maybe.” I pause, cupping her cheek, before leaning over and pressing my lips against her ear. “If you survive,don’tremember me.”
Sirens ring in the distance, help is coming. Maybe it’s too little too late.
