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Ford must have heard it too, because it’s that glimpse of emotion that makes him look up. Beast isn’t one for showing his emotions outside of when he’s alone with me, at least not the ones that other people would look down upon. So to hear his voice crack with emotion is quite something.
“I’m really sorry,” Ford says earnestly.
“For what, for protecting yourself? Don’t ever be sorry for that,” I say, drawing my hand away.
“You don’t hate me?” he asks, swallowing hard, and I know he’s doing everything in his power not to cry. This kid, he breaks my heart.
“No. You’re my brother. How could I hate you?” I say fiercely.
“My mum does. She hates me, but she loves you,” he replies tightly, the tendons in his arms stiffening as his fingers curl into fists.
“That doesn’t matter to me.”
“Not to you maybe, you don’t even know her.”
I swallow hard. “You’re agoodkid.”
“You don’t know me. Not really,” he says, hugging himself.
“I know you’ve endured great cruelty by her hands,” I say, forcing myself to speak through the emotion I feel. “I know you’ve survived a difficult life. I know you’ve got a strength very few people can say they have. I know you’re determined. I know you’re an exceptional fighter—”
“Yeah, then why are you palming me off to another fight club?” he asks, and the hurt in his voice is like a knife through my heart. I didn’t even realise he knew.
“That wasbeforeI knew who you were. We didn’t think, given your circumstances, that we were the best people for you to hang out with.”
“Why, don’t you think I can handle it?” he asks, swallowing down his hurt. “I’m not an idiot. I know who you are. What you’re about.”
“It was never about you handling anything, kid,” Beast says, cutting in for me because fuck if my voice has dried up in my throat with the agony I feel for him.
“Then what?”
“Being my brother puts a target on your head,” I admit.
“I don’t care. I’ll learn how to fight with the best. I’ll be able to protect myself and I won’t tell anyone you’re my sister.Please, don’t send me away.”
“It isn’t just that. We’re not exactly the best role models,” I say weakly.
“And you think my mum and stepdad are any better? At least you don’t want to beat the shit out of me on a regular basis. Well, at least not outside of the ring,” he adds, attempting a joke that really isn’t fucking funny.
“No, kid. Kate and I don’t think your parents were any better. In fact we think they were mothefucking cunts,” Beast says darkly.
Ford stiffens. “Wait,were?”
“What?” Beast replies, trying to act calm but I see the panic in his eyes. He’s let the proverbial cat out of the bag and Ford isn’t the type of kid to miss the meaning behind Beast’s specific choice of words.
“You said,were,” he points out, looking between us both now.
“Kid, I just meant—”
“No!” I hold my hand up, forcing Beast to stop mid lie. We owe him the truth.Iowe him that at least. Maybe yesterday I was willing to lie under the guise of keeping more bad shit out of his life, but in the long run the truth always comes out and it’ll hurt him even more then. It’s better to do this now no matter how fucking hard it is.
“Kate,” he warns, but I shake my head, focusing back on Ford.
“What?” Ford whispers, fear rearing its head.
“They’re dead,” I say, ripping the fucking plaster off.
He flinches. “What?!”
