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Holly
Helen seems nice. A little aloof perhaps, but calm and professional. She takes me to human resources and signs me up, security passes, endless forms, and then a guided tour of the building.
This place is nothing like The Globe. Much better. More luxurious, with a different kind of atmosphere. Professional people, desperate to succeed, unlike the attention-grabbing journalists I have come to know and hate. I wonder what they would say if they saw where I was now? I doubt they would believe their eyes, because I certainly don’t.
I’ve arrived. It certainly feels that way and I don’t miss the curious stares of the people that work here as they watch the new girl being shown around by none other than the big man’s assistant. They will be wondering who I am and I feel my breath coming fast as the anxiety comes along for the ride. What possessed me to think I was good enough for this? To work among seasoned professionals who took years to make it to this level.
Helen takes me to the canteen and the buzz of conversation is so loud I struggle to hear her speak. We gather trays of food and she swipes what looks like an expense account and says over her shoulder, “I’ve ordered you one of these. They come with the package. It shouldn’t take long, but keep any checks and I’ll make sure you get the money back.” I’m silent because I didn’t expect this. Thinking of my usual lunch that involved scraping together enough to buy the cheapest meal on a junior reporter’s wages, when those who had made the grade already dined out on expense accounts, makes me doubt I should be here even more.
I follow her to a table in the corner of the room and she smiles as she sets her tray down.
“Normally I eat at my desk, this is a luxury.”
Looking around at the general chaos, I wonder if I heard her right. “A luxury?”
She nods. “I forget other people exist most of the time. Much of my day is spent on my own, working in an office that has little sound. I kind of love the madness here. It reminds me that life goes on and there are actual humans working here.”
“Unlike Mr. Prince, of course, I doubt that man’s human.”
She looks a little surprised and I check myself because gossiping about the main man is probably not wise, so I change direction and say with interest, “Have you worked for him long?”
“Three years, give or take a few months.”
“Do you like it?”
I’m curious because I’d be bored if I had to work on my own all day. “Yes, I love it. It’s interesting stuff and Mr. Prince, Dexter, is a good boss. Like most clever men though, he can be difficult, but only because he is always a thousand steps ahead of me and is waiting impatiently for me to catch up.”
I wonder what relationship they have shared in the past because her eyes have glossed over a little and she appears lost in a pleasant memory and I hate the jealous surge that puts me off my food.
She looks at me curiously. “So, Holly, tell me how you came by this great opportunity? I mean, Dexter isn’t one to dish out favors. I must say I’m impressed.”
Now I feel like the complete imposter I am and shrug. “He liked an article I wrote, and we got talking. I mentioned this was my dream and I suppose he took me on as his charity project for the year.”
“I doubt it. Dexter may be generous, but he would never give anyone a helping hand out of kindness. He must see something in you, Holly. You should be proud of yourself.”
Once again, I feel uncomfortable because if she knew the real story, she wouldn’t be so impressed then and I feel ashamed of myself and I suppose decide in a heartbeat that I will work my ass off to prove to myself mainly that I deserve this chance.
“Hey, Helen, long time no see.”
I look up and see a good-looking man holding his tray of food and notice how Helen blushes as she smiles up at him. She likes him. It’s so obvious a blind man could feel the vibes and he appears to feel the same because he can’t tear his eyes away from her.
After an awkward silence, she says quickly, “Why don’t you join us?”
He needs no second invitation and jumps beside her and she says with a catch to her voice, “Um, Steven, this is Holly, Dexter’s new apprentice.”
He looks at me in surprise and I smile nervously, “Um, hi.”
“Apprentice. Wow, how did you grab that opportunity? You’re one lucky lady.”
His eyes travel my body, leaving me in no doubt what he thinks was part of the interview process and it makes me angry. Of course he thinks that, why wouldn’t he because it’s the truth? Dexter gave me this job because it was the perfect way to control me. To keep his little fuck toy close in return for the information he badly needed. There is no way in hell I would be here if it wasn’t for that and every person here knows it.
I tune out and listen to them make small talk and stare at my lunch with a growing nausea. I have so much to prove to just about everyone, and I always have.
After lunch, Helen takes me to another part of the building and explains as we walk. “This will be your first assignment. Dexter told me to put you on the team running the Powers’ story. Apparently, you 're familiar with this one already and have begun your research. He wants you to learn from the best and Mack Evans is the best, so word of advice, just listen and suck up his bastard ways because, despite being the creepiest guy around, he’s the best at what he does.”
Thinking of the story I was working on, I’m surprised to learn he already had a whole fucking team doing what he asked me to do in an evening. She must notice my surprise because she says kindly, “You’ll be fine. They’re career driven people who love what they do. Learn from them and prove to them why you have the right to be there.”
I look at her sharply because I wasn’t aware I was giving off the doubt vibes, and she smiles. “Dexter told me you would struggle with imposter syndrome. It’s normal, so don’t think twice about it. When I got this job, I was working at the typing pool and applied, anyway. Everyone told me I had no chance of leapfrogging to the top job, so I went all out to impress. For a while there, everyone thought I’d slept my way into the position and never once thought I’d got here on my own merit. I’ve spent the entire three years proving I deserve the role, so if anyone knows what it’s like to catch a break, it’s me. Dexter sees things in people nobody else can, which is why he’s so good at running this place. He puts the right person in the right job and that person is you, Holly. Now, I’m afraid I’ll have to love you and leave you because I need to catch up with Dexter after his absence, but anything you need, the numbers in this phone or text or email me, anytime.”
