Page 17 of Cocky Caveman


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“Aye. Stealthy. I was standing outside the car, getting some fresh air, when I noticed something was afoot when Levi and the other fellow accompanied two lads outside the café and sent them packing with a warning.

“I was beginning to wonder where ye were at, taking a long time to order coffees. I called Levi on his cell phone, and he got Keanu to let me in via the back entrance. We had a quick chat. He said ye been causing trouble, and now I see where you were at. Are ye taking up the skill of knocking down wee bonnie lasses these days?” He looks pointedly over at the couch.

“Of course not!” I reply, keeping my voice low, feeling grumpy even though he is half right. I did knock thebonnie wee lassover.

“Here.” Shamus hands me a T-shirt I didn’t realize he was holding. “Keanu asked me if I had a spare in the car. I heard yours has blood on it. I said I did not, and everything is at the hotel, so he helped me out with a T-shirt from a merchandise box he had out in his Jeep Cherokee.”

“Thanks.” I had forgotten I wasn’t wearing one under my leather jacket. I’d been too distracted by Hamlet.

I put on the black, long-sleeved T-shirt with words in white printed on the front:BRINGS A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO LEGLESS. In smaller font,Limbitless Teesis printed underneath in bright orange. “Interesting T-shirt.”

He shrugs. “Keanu said the order is for a bachelor party. Most of the guys attending have lost a leg in the military. Witty humor.”

I agree.

The more times I meet Keanu and Levi, the more I know I will have friends for life with them. They are good guys.

I look over and see Hamlet staring at Shamus. Is this the part where she goes all ‘groupie’ on Shamus, aka Sticks, a member for a few of the earlier years of the rock band Blue Monday?

I turn Shamus, so his back is to her.

He raises an inquiring eyebrow. “Ye gonna introduce me to yer victim?”

“You arenotfunny,” I drawl.

“Of course, I am.”

“Don’t blame me if Hamlet goes all groupie on you.”

“Och, it was a lifetime ago, and what an interesting name.”

“Then why did you come through the back entrance? And her name is growing on me.”

“Habit.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“I look a lot different now to back then.”

“You do. You have become more Highlander since then, putting on muscle where you were all roly-poly before, and don’t get me started on your pimples and rotting teeth and your mullet hair.”

Shamus shakes his head and chuckles.

The doc has moved on to stitching her up. “But what is this, Tucker Royal?” He waves his hand about in the air.

“What?” Am I that transparent?

My friend cocks his head on the side. “Hmm… ye seem to have gotten hooked on the lass’s line in the time it takes to order two coffees. Ye couldn’t have possibly—”

“We have chemistry, although admittedly, it is more smartass vs. sassy banter. I guess I want to know more.”

“From a man who hasn’t shown—”

“Yeah-yeah, I hear ya,” I whisper-hiss, which earns me two raised eyebrows and a smirk. “She zapped me,” my intelligent response amuses Shamus.

“She zapped ye?”

“Yes”—I keep my voice low—“there’s a spark. I want to see if it ignites.”

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