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Mathis sat firmly like a rock wall, his topaz eyes holding a hint of amusement. “You aren’t going anywhere by yourself. You may not be swaying anymore, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting you drive yourself home after consuming such a large amount of whiskey.”
I clenched my jaw till my teeth hurt. This was just fantastic. I didn’t want to be locked in a truck with Mathis the entire forty minute drive to my house, nor did I want him seeing where I lived. My little run-down, outdated farmhouse was an eyesore next to the house he’d inherited from his uncle. I could already feel the blush of embarrassment staining my checks just at the thought. I had it in my mind to convince Sam to drive me home, but as I looked across the booth, I saw the connection between her and Steven as they whispered quietly together, and guilt overtook my own selfish needs. She was carrying his child, and they had a lot they needed to work through. I needed to give them the opportunity to have that life altering talk. So, like a good best friend, I sucked up my pride, and nodded to Mathis.
14
The drive from the dinner to my parents’ house could be described in only one word. Awkward. A silence hung over us, as both of us had long since given up on small talk. I felt Mathis glance over at me periodically, but he seemed as lost for words as I was. I gave him directions when needed, but the entire time I looked out at the countryside passing us by, my mind was building up the dread of him seeing my home. I shouldn’t have been embarrassed by it, and I was disappointed with myself for feeling that way, but it’s not always our choice to feel a certain emotion, and it’s even more difficult to control how we feel or react to situations in life.
I didn’t really know how I felt or how I should feel about the whole Mathis issue. I was incredibly, overwhelmingly attracted to him, that I did know. Sex with him was unlike anything I’d ever experienced with anyone else…not that I had a whole lot of experience, and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. The bigbuthanging in the air, however, was that I couldn’t, and didn’t want to focus on a relationship at this particular point in my life. Okay. I had commitment issues. Sam was right. My first boyfriend had cheated on me, my second turned into a total jerk, and the third, well…he was so clingy and controlling it bordered on psychotic.
None of the guys I’d dated had ever made me feel like this was it, like I could really fall for them, so I hadn’t had any reasons to feel concern about guarding my heart. With Mathis, that was not the case. With him, I felt like my heart hung on my sleeve, like he could pick it up and rip it apart whenever he chose, and we had only seen each other a few times. That’s what frightened me. I was afraid of rejection, afraid of getting hurt, and afraid of being blind to the truth about him. How many times had I watched Samantha, or my sister give their heart to some handsome guy only to have it shoved into a garbage disposal? Too many. I didn’t want to make those same mistakes.
When we turned onto my gravel driveway from the main highway, Mathis spared a glance at me again. “This side of Durango’s a little different huh? I feel like your property has more rolling hills than my side.”
Glancing at him, I immediately regretted it. Just looking at him, meeting his eyes, made me want to tell him to pull the truck over and take me right there. It was pathetic. Geez, it was like I had no self-control around him. Swallowing and hoping to hide my real thoughts, I tried to form an intelligent reply.
“Yeah, it’s a little more open, but the back side of my property is surrounded by mountains so it’s not too dissimilar from yours.”
Mathis surprised me then. He reached out the hand not holding the steering wheel and covered mine with it. “Callie, is there a reason you’re trying so hard to avoid me?”
I glanced back at him in surprise, not quite certain how to reply, so, I said the first thing that came to mind. “Uh, well, it’s just that I don’t want to get attached since I’m going back to New York soon.”
I watched his face as I spoke, and immediately felt guilty for the expression my words caused. I could see he was surprised and disappointed by the news.
“I guess I thought you had moved back home for good. Stupid of me. I mean, if you could leave all of this before, what’s to keep you here now.”
For some reason, his words felt like they held a double meaning. Was he talking about Colorado, or himself? The question caught me off guard, and I sat in silence, not knowing what to say. After a moment, he removed his hand from mine, and I regretted my words, as well as the loss of the physical connection with him. Fortunately, my house appeared ahead of us, and I sighed in relief, as my escape came closer and closer.
Mathis parked in front of my house, put the truck in park, and turned toward me. “Well, I guess this is where I say goodbye.”
I blinked, surprised by the finality I heard in his words. Why did he confuse me so much? Why were my feelings for him so jumbled up? Inside, I cried out, but outwardly, I nodded my head. “Thanks for the ride home, and dinner.”
Mathis hopped out, came around the front of the truck, and opened my door for me. My heart was stuck in my throat, and I wanted so badly to pull him to me, to kiss him, to tell him how I really felt, but I kept my lips firmly sealed as I stepped down from the lifted truck and headed toward my house.
Of course, fate hates me, so it didn’t end there. when I looked up, I found my mom standing on the porch, hands planted firmly on her hips, and an irritated expression on her face.
“Calamity Jane Hamlyn, I know I raised you with more manners than that. You turn right around, and you invite that young man in for coffee.”
Freezing, I deflated, groaning inwardly. “Mom…but….” With no good excuse coming to mind, I turned about, sulkily, and said, “Mathis, would you like to come in for coffee?” the entire time I was beseeching him with my eyes to say no.
I think he knew it, but what he said was; “Callie, I would love to come in for coffee. It’s so kind of you to offer.” He pushed the passenger door shut and bounded toward me like a puppy. I wanted to murder him.
Leading Mathis to my mom, I introduced him to her and vice versa. I thought it was cute, despite how mad I was, when he removed his hat before shaking my mom’s hand.
“Mrs. Hamlyn, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
My mom looked him up and down, lifted a brow at me, and replied. “Mr. Eaton, the pleasure is mutual. I’d love to say I’ve heard everything about you, but in fact I haven’t.” She sent me a warning look that said we’d be talking later, and I sighed heavily.
To my horror, Mathis laughed, saying, “That’s not surprising, considering she’s been doing her best to get rid of me.”
Now my mom looked downright curious. She glanced at me with a look of intrigue, and I shook my head at her. I followed demurely as she took charge and led Mathis into the house, straight to the kitchen table where my dad was drinking coffee, of course.
I glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing it was much earlier than I’d assumed, and I knew the fall hours had officially begun. My father looked up, started in surprise as my mother introduced him to Mathis as my friend, and rose to shake his hand, giving him a hard once over. I felt like I could easily disappear since I obviously wasn’t needed here, when my mother turned to me.
“Callie darling, why don’t you and Mathis have a seat, and I’ll get the coffee started.” I thought,oh gee, great, the pots not even brewed yet?
Huffing, I started to grab a chair across from my father, when Mathis reached out and pulled it out for me before sitting in the one beside me. Across the table, I didn’t miss the look of amusement on my dad’s weathered face. He wasted no time asking fifty question the moment Mathis’s fine behind was planted in his seat.
“So, tell me Mr. Eaton, do you live here in Durango? I think I know just about everyone in town, and I certainly haven’t seen you before.”
