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“I’ll be honest with you, it’s not looking good for your dad. He was bleeding out, but wanted to make sure his last words were for you, your mom, and Luca.”
I’m not interested in his last words, because he’s not fucking dying. He’s Cas Jackson, President of the Lost Souls MC, and a fucking legend. Many have tried to take him out, and they’ve all failed.
“He passed the gavel to you as his firstborn.”
I look away. I can’t bear to see the defeat in his eyes. Pinching my chin, he jerks my head toward him.
“Your dad is my best fucking friend—he’s my family. The day he dies is the day half my soul dies with him. I’ve stood by him for forty years. We were barely eighteen when we wore the patch, been through some fucking hard times we didn’t think we’d survive. But tonight, I could feel him slipping away from me, and I’m so goddamn scared, Leo. I’m fucking petrified that when tomorrow comes, he’s not going to be here anymore.”
His words penetrate the stubbornness that flows through me, but I hold my head high.
“While there’s breath in his body, I don’t think about the gavel. I can’t.”
“I get it, Leo. But the club is going to need strong leadership if the worst should happen. After everything you’ve been through, and are still going through, the brothers will follow you. You were born to lead one day, and if that day is tomorrow, you’ll take your father’s patch and you will lead us. Do you understand?”
That day isn’t going to be tomorrow, because I’m not ready to take over my father’s club. It’s his and his alone. I had one person to protect, and I couldn’t even do that. India died because of me and my choices; the club shouldn’t want to follow me.
“Leo,” Sparky growls.
The fear in his eyes shines bright.
“What?”
What could he possibly have to add?
“You need to prepare yourself that when we leave here, it will be without your dad.”
Digging my teeth into my bottom lip, it takes the strong need away from wanting to punch my dad’s oldest friend in the jaw.
“I prepare for nothing. If he doesn’t make it, I’ll start from there. As far as the club is concerned, we do what we always do, and vote on who takes his patch.”
Bracing his hands on his hips, his jaw tightens.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap. “You of all people shouldn’t be talking like he’s already dead.”
“He had no fucking pulse, Leo,” he bellows, getting in my face. “You weren’t with him, I was, and when I say his chances weren’t high, I’m not saying it for shits and giggles. I’m not scared over nothing.”
Breathing heavily, he says more calmly, “I’m only doing what he asked. The only thing he loves more than his family is the club. He wouldn’t want the club slipping because he went and died on us.”
Leaving me outside as the rain starts up again, I close my eyes, exhaling long and hard. Trust my dad to worry about the fate of the club as he bleeds out.
* * *
“He should be out of surgery by now, surely?” Mom murmurs from the plastic chair in the waiting area.
“No news is good news,” Ricky says.
“Bullshit. Someone must know something,” Luca retorts.
I shut them all out.
Bonnie texted me an hour ago to say Holly had given Rayna some tea and was reading a book to her.
Holly asked me why I helped her, and I still don’t have an answer. All I know is that one look at her and her hands, I knew she wasn’t a part of Ethan’s plan to take us down. There was a halo of innocence around her, and I knew I had to step in and protect her.
“Finally,” Mom sighs when two doctors walk toward us.
When they don’t meet our eyes, my stomach sinks. Perhaps I should’ve prepared myself for the worst.
