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“Holly?”
Rayna distracts herself with her dolly and I flip the phone and face Leo.
“I won’t make it home tonight. Make sure you lock up and set the alarm.”
I refrain from rolling my eyes a second time.
“We’re already locked up and the alarm’s set,” I assure him.
He’s sitting in the bar, and it sounds like there’s a party going on. He tips a bottle of beer to his lips and my stomach sinks. A party, beer, it all leads to the end of the night where all I can imagine is him walking up the stairs with Zara.
Now Rayna isn’t over at the main house, he has no reason to leave the bar. I noticed the brothers only stayed at the house if their old ladies and kids were staying over.
“Right, well I better go. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
“Sure.”
The call ends and I tuck my phone into my back pocket. I’m not dwelling on what may or what may not be happening. It’s not good for me and I don’t have the energy to hate myself even more than I already do.
The sun is shining with not a cloud in the sky. I’ve already hung a load of laundry out on the line and Rayna’s had her breakfast. Today is a new day and since I have no reason to venture into town, I’m in a good mood.
Rayna bops her head to the music as I’m finishing putting the dishes away.
Kristen once told me India loved to dance as a child, so I turn the music up and like her mother, Rayna instinctively begins to dance.
Taking hold of her hands, we dance together, and our laughter is nearly as loud as the music.
In all the time I’ve been caring for Rayna, there has never been a time her laughter hasn’t helped lift my sinking moods. As we move around the kitchen, everything that usually brings me down is nothing but bad memories. This child is a balm of healing and I soak her in.
Silence envelopes us and I spin on my heels to find the reason why the music was shut off.
JJ leans against the doorway and Leo stands by the radio.
“Daddy!”
“Hey, sweetheart.”
Her little hands slip from mine, and she runs across the kitchen and straight into Leo’s waiting arms.
“You having fun, dancing?” he asks her.
“Yep, yep, yep.”
I avert my eyes and find JJ staring at me. He says, “I was hoping to catch you having breakfast.”
“We not long finished. I can make you something if you like?”
Leo cuts in, lowering Rayna down to the floor. “You’re not his chef. If he’s hungry, he can make himself something to eat.”
“I don’t mind.” In fact, when I cook, I clean as I go along, and in my experience of Leo and JJ, they don’t.
“I’m going for a shower.”
I bet it’s to wash Zara off of him. He leaves the room and JJ moves to sit at the table.
Making sure Rayna is busy with her toys, I ask JJ, “What do you fancy to eat?”
“It’s all good, I’ll pick something up on the way to the city.”
