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She walks around the desk and drops to her knees, running her hands up my jeans-clad thighs, stopping to squeeze my dick.
“I said, not now.”
“You need a release. It can just be a quickie.”
Jesus fucking Christ. Scrubbing my hands over my face, it does little to relieve the budding frustration. Before India, I spent many nights with Zara, and she was my go-to hookup. After India, I suppose it was like going back to what I knew. But as I stare down at her now, all she’s oozing is desperation.
“I’m not wearing any panties.”
Holly wouldn’t think about leaving the house without any underwear on. And where the likes of Zara used to be my type, now, the idea of easy access bores me. Peeling Holly’s panties off the last couple of nights was like unwrapping the toy you wanted for Christmas as a kid, knowing exactly what you were getting but it still not dampening the need to have it in your hands.
“Did you hear me? I’m not wearing any panties.”
“Yeah, I heard,” I grunt. “You better keep your legs shut then, you don’t wanna catch a draft.”
Springing up to her feet, I ignore her huffing and puffing and take another drag on my cigarette.
“Why are you being such an asshole?”
“It’s a hobby. I haven’t got time for you tonight. Go find another dick to bounce on.”
“You know what, Leo Jackson, I’d be good for you. Why can’t you see that?”
“Because it’s not you I see, Zara. You knew what I needed, and you knew I wouldn’t give you more than my dick. Whatever you think is gonna happen, I guarantee you, it won’t. Stop wasting your time on me.”
“If all you can still see is India, you are a waste of my time.”
Before, I would’ve jumped up to my feet, forced her away from me, but I want to drive my fist into my face because it’s not India I see, it’s Holly.
“Fuck off, Zara.”
“Asshole,” she mutters, as she races for the door, only to bump into Dad.
He cocks his brow as he steps to the side to let her pass. With her gone, he steps into the room and laughs.
“Do I even want to know?”
He falls on the couch, pulling out an envelope from his inside cut pocket.
“It’s nothing. She got the wrong end of the stick.”
“Stick or dick?” He laughs.
“You know, you need to stop smiling and laughing so much. It’s freaking me out.”
“It won’t last long, I’m sure. So, is she gonna be trouble?”
“I’ll deal with it if she is.” I reach for another cigarette but think twice. I try not to smoke around my dad since his cancer. “You remember when you told me there were two types of women?”
“Ah. So she’s the one you’ve been playing with and now she thinks it’s going somewhere, and you’ve fucked her off?”
“Something like that, yeah.” There’s no point explaining it’s not how he’s thinking.
“If you’ve stopped playing with her, does that mean there’s someone else who you want more than to play with?”
I know for a fact my dad doesn’t give a shit about this sort of thing with the brothers, but me being his son, and after everything I went through in the last few years, it’s his love for me that he wants to know. Besides, he caught me a couple of times coming out of Holly’s room over at the main house.
“Holly told me she has feelings for me just before I got shot. I told her she was wrong, and we stopped sharing a bed. Then, the other night, she had another nightmare and as I was holding her. One thing led to another, and I slept with her.”
