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“She doesn’t need me, Rayna does.”
And I need Leo. He’ll understand. In the darkness, in my room, with just the two of us, he’ll understand when I try and fail to explain how I’m feeling… or what I’m not feeling.
My mom doesn’t even acknowledge me as she leaves the hospital. I’m thankful for the silence on the way back to the club. It shouldn’t be too much longer before the brothers make it back and Rayna will be in bed. Then I can break down… if it comes.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” I ask, wanting to think about anything but the lack of grief I’m feeling.
“Sure,” he answers hesitantly.
“Doesn’t it bother you, sleeping with someone who sleeps with people you know?”
He blows out a long breath. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“I did say it was personal,” I argue.
“I take it you’re talking about Zara?”
Nodding, I wait for him to carry on. “To me, it’s just sex. When she comes on to me and wants my dic… when she wants me, I’m not exactly gonna say no.”
“So it doesn’t bother you?”
“I don’t think much about it. What she gets up to when she’s not with me isn’t my business and it’s not like I don’t see other women.”
The longer I’m on Earth, the less I understand people. But then, it’s not on me to judge anyone. I certainly don’t like it when they do it to me.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I was being rude.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I’m pretty much an open book. Anything else you want to know to distract yourself from your dad?”
We approach the club and I shake my head. I just need to be around Rayna, her infectious laugh and her pure, happy soul. He drives through the open gates and parks up by the main house.
Alannah rushes down the steps and throws open my door before I get the chance.
“Holly, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad.”
She grabs onto my hands, and I flinch at the contact. But as I stare at her helping me out, touching me doesn’t bother her. She envelops me in her arms, and I let her hug me. I didn’t even notice Grim on his phone to let them know what happened.
“Anything you need, just let me know,” she vows and pulls away.
Cas steps out of the house, and the pity in his eyes is too much. I look away as Alannah says, “I’ll take care of Rayna. You go and take care of yourself.”
I wouldn’t even know how to start caring for myself. “It’s fine,” I urge. “I just want normality.”
With a frown, she squeezes my arm and walks into the house. Cas surprises me when he steps down and stands before me.
“You don’t look too cut up over your father’s death and you haven’t stuck by your mother’s side. I remember how they cut you off when you came here. Grief isn’t always tears and sobs. Don’t go beating yourself up because you don’t feel the norm.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
I’ve watched Cas for a long time, and he’s never gone out of his way to offer me advice.
“My son cares for you. He understands death, many of us here do. You’re not alone.”
He walks off and I’m left feeling the most included I’ve ever felt in my life.
Chapter Fifteen
Leo
