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“You love him, don’t you?”
“I… I see his pain. Most of the time, I feel it. I know India will always be a part of him, always around, and I get that. I don’t want the Leo India had, it’s not like he exists anymore anyway. But the Leo who took me in, whoIknow, I love him with every part of me. He accepts me more than I do myself and when I’m with him, I know it’s where I’m supposed to be.”
“Have you told him that because that made me wanna fall in love with you.”
Laughing, it soon falls flat, and my eyes fill with water.
“I have this feeling that I’m never going to get the life I want. I spent years trying to run from this town, from myself, and now all I want is to put down roots. Leo warned me he wouldn’t be able to give me what I need, and I spend every day, hoping that changes. But deep down, I know it won’t, yet I can’t let it go. I can’t let him go.”
She moves closer to me and rubs my arm. “One thing I’ve learned about these guys is that time is your best friend. What Leo went through, it broke him, but it seems the only person who can put him back together again is you.”
I’m already shaking my head, but she carries on when I go to speak.
“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Holly. You’re strong. I now believe everything you went through was meant to lead you to Leo.”
Could she be right? Every part of me hopes so.
“If I’m right, and somehow I know I’m not wrong, then being together forever will be worth giving yourselves the time needed now.”
Motorcycle engines fills the air and moments later, her front door is opening, and JJ and Myles walk in. Myles heads for the kitchen and returns with a beer while JJ heads for his son.
“How’s my boy today?” he asks Harper, picking Gunner up from his bouncy chair.
“Rayna’s been keeping him occupied.”
Rayna comes and sits with me on the couch and Myles tips his chin when I catch his eye.
“You doing okay out at the cabin still?”
“Everything’s fine. Though the faucet has started dripping in the second bathroom.”
“Emma has a check-up tomorrow morning. I’ll stop by after lunch some time.”
“Thanks. It’ll save me calling a plumber.”
JJ, cradling his son, looks around the room and says, “Call Emma, get her round here. We’ll have a cookout.”
My heart drops, knowing it’s our cue to leave. Sitting forward, I lean down and grab my purse.
“You not staying?”
I look up at JJ. Though I spend a lot of time with Harper, I’ve never been invited to a barbecue.
So I stay. Not only am I in the same vicinity as them, I’m included in conversations like I’ve always been one of them.
“What do you think, Holly? Do you think I’m having a boy or a girl?” Emma asks as Myles sits behind her, rubbing her bump.
“I think a boy then you’d have one of each.”
“That’s what I say, but she wants another girl,” Myles grunts.
“You just don’t want all girls in the house,” Emma retorts.
“Too fuckin’ right. Gotta have someone on my side. It’s not even like I’ve got my brother to back me up.”
A hush falls over everyone, having been reminded who’s not here with us.
“I’m sure Mase is crying into his pillow every night, missing you too,” JJ mocks him.
