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Maybe I can start looking for a job soon. I consider the fact that I have no car and don’t know how to drive, but still, the idea of letting Roman pay my way for everything is unsettling. One way or another, I have to get a job or find a way to make some money.
“You are very quiet,” Violet observes, interrupting my thoughts. “Have you always been like this or are you still…you know…are you okay, Sophie?” Concern is etched in her features.
“I’ve always been kind of quiet,” I admit, and it’s true. I’ve never been chatty. Talking gathers attention, and attention isn’t something you want in the home I grew up in.
“You know, if you want to talk about what happened to you…you can always talk to me. I don’t know if Roman or Ivan told you, but what happened to you happened to me too. I know what it’s like to be locked in that cell, to feel so alone you want to die.”
I almost smile at her statement. She thinks she has been through what I’ve been through, but she has no idea. She doesn’t know the cell was nothing compared to the pain of being abandoned by your family, the people who are supposed to protect and love you. She has no idea how my whole life fell apart the day they exchanged my body for a piece of paper, a fucking check. I try and reason with myself, since I don’t know Violet’s story, but I can’t help but feel anything but sorry for myself in this moment.
I’m left with a scar that I’ll carry around on my heart for the rest of my life.
“I’m fine, really. In fact, I feel safe with Roman.” Surprise flashes in her eyes.
“I can’t really describe it, but I feel safe when he’s with me, like nothing can hurt me. It’s such a strange thing when I know nothing about him, isn’t it?”
“No, not really. You were abandoned, of course you’re going to gravitate toward someone you feel can protect you.” Her response surprises me. In my mind, any sane person would tell me I’m crazy for wanting to be close to a man like Roman—a man who oozes violence, arrogance, and a coldness that could freeze me right in place.
“Thanks…” I grin, my eyes moving to the floor beneath my feet, “for not thinking I’m crazy.”
“You aren’t crazy, girl. It’s only crazy to people who don’t live the life we do.” She pauses, and I lift my eyes to her face. “It’s fine to feel safe with Roman, just be careful. The man has a little bit of a temper.” I nod, thinking back to how mad he got when I accused him of buying me so he could hurt me.
Violet catches sight of some store and her eyes light up. “Oooh, let’s go in here! They have super cute clothes.”
With a smile on my face, I follow her, grateful for the subject change.
She immediately starts to go through some clothing racks next to the wall, and I try to make it look like I’m doing the same, even though I’m not interested in buying anything else. I absentmindedly push the hangers around while looking around the store.
My eyes flicker over the denim and numerous t-shirts before moving toward the front of the store. As soon as I see him through the glass doors, I can’t unsee him.
My father.
Air swooshes in my lungs as panic overtakes me. My father is here.
He came for me.
He’s going to take me back home.
He is going to punish me again.
Make me pay with the belt, then pawn me off to that rich man he wanted me to marry.
No! My blood pounds in my ears as panic grips onto me like an iron shackle being placed around my body. I can’t let him take me back or find me. I can’t let them win. I’ve finally gained me freedom. I won’t let him take that away from me.
I frantically look around, trying to find somewhere to hide. The word dressing room hangs on a sign at the back of the store, and I rush in that direction. The sound of heavy footsteps following behind me meet my ears, but I’m too scared to look back over my shoulder.
I run as fast as my legs allow, my tense muscles burning, crying in protest with each step. When I finally reach the dressing room, I open one of the booths and hurry inside, slamming the door shut behind me and clicking the lock into place.
There is a commotion right outside the door, and I huddle into the farthest corner. Someone knocks on the door, asking for me to open up or come out, but I won’t…I can’t…I can’t let him take me. Fear claims every inch of my body. I close my eyes and cover my ears with my hands to block out the sounds and sights assaulting me. I know what I’m doing might seem incredibly childish, but I can’t stand the thought of him finding me. I imagine I’m somewhere else—anywhere else.
