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“That’s what I thought. If you’re smart, you’ll stay out of my way. Whatever the fuck I do with my life is not your choice. Fighting and these pills were here long before you ever were.”
Tears start to form behind my eyes, and I refuse to let him see me cry. He doesn’t deserve it. I turn and run out of the room while holding a hand to my chest. I feel like if I don’t my chest might rip open, and my heart might fall to the cold ground, shattering into a million tiny little pieces. I run until I reach my bedroom then I shut the door and lock it behind me. The rooms already looks blurry from the tears distorting my vision and I swipe at the tears willing them away.
I let myself fall onto the bed, hugging the pillow to my chest as I sob into it. How could he say those things to me? I know he didn’t mean them, there’s no way…if he didn’t care about me then he wouldn’t have protected me. He wouldn’t have killed for me. I cry until my eyes are swollen, my nose is completely stuffed up and my head feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat.
I have no idea how much time has passed until a soft knock at the door startles me.
“Sophie…babe open the door,” Roman asks through the door. Even with his voice muffled, he sounds off. He sounds calm now, but still not like himself. I bite at my bottom lip, trying to stop my heart from beating for this man. I love him…and I think I’ve known it all along, but I’m not afraid to admit it to myself. I’d go through anything for him—anything—because he saved me.
“I’m sorry…please just open the door. I’m not going to hurt you…” He sounds sad and defeated, and I find my feet moving without thought. He’s so afraid he’s going to hurt me, I’d bet anything it’s eating away at his insides, but I know him. I know him beneath all the darkness, and I trust him, with my heart, my mind, my body. Unlocking the door, I open it, finding Roman leaning against the doorframe.
He looks pale, and there’s a thin layer of sweat against his forehead, but other than that, he seems to be the same gorgeous, far less angry, Roman he always is.
“Are you okay?” I ask, concerned for his well-beginning.
“Yeah, I’m great now. My friend brought me something to tie me over until I can get my normal pills.” I watch Roman closely. His jaw moves funny, and his eyes flicker around unnaturally. Something feels off about him, like the air around him isn’t normal. I look into his eyes and realize his pupils are so dilated, I can’t see any color.
“Why don’t you lie down, Roman? You don’t look so good,” I coax. Grabbing his hand, I pull him into the bedroom with me. Maybe he just needs to sleep it off.
He follows me to the bed and sits down, letting me guide him every step of the way. At least he is calm…for now. As soon as I get him to sleep, I’m going to call Ivan. I don’t want to hurt Roman, but I can’t watch him self-destruct like this.
One look at Roman and I realize it’s not sleep he wants.
“You’re so fucking beautiful…beautiful, and mine, all mine.” He lifts his hand and cups my cheek. His caress is gentle, kind. I close my eyes, leaning farther into it, reveling in his touch.
“Take your clothes off,” Roman orders a second later. I pause for a moment. This is probably a bad idea, more than a bad idea considering the state he’s in, and the unknown drug he’s taken…but I want him. Regardless of everything going on around us, my body still craves him…
He reaches for my breast with his free hand and my body arches into his touch, seeking pleasure only he can give me. He rubs a thumb over my already hardened nipple, through my t-shirt, and a moan betrays me, falling from my lips without thought.
“Roman, should we really do this?” I already know the answer is no, but I can’t seem to get my body on the same page as my mind.
“Do you not want to?” Roman grins, tugging on my nipple once more. “It’s clear your body wants me. If I peeled your panties off and sunk my fingers deep inside your cunt, I bed I’d find you drenched.” There’s no denying how much I want him. I always want him—always. I wouldn’t lie about that, but I’m not sure we should do this.
“Of course I want to. I always want you, but…”
Roman is on me in a flash, his lips hot as fire, his hands possessive. All doubt leaves my mind, replaced with pure carnal need. My arms snake around his neck, pulling him even closer.
