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“Sophie!” Hey yells again, and this time he sounds closer. I’m so scared, but more so I’m angry…so angry that I let this happen again. I trusted someone close to me and they betray me.
I’m my own worst enemy. Why did I feel so safe with him? What a cruel trick the universe has played on me.
I should’ve listened to him…he warned me and still I trusted him. I gave him my heart. In the back of my mind I always knew that my parents didn’t love me like they should.
Even if I didn’t want to admit it. I always felt that there was something off. I never felt loved…not completely. Not like my younger sister was loved. But Roman? I trusted him, I thought he loved me like I loved him. I felt so safe with him. How could I be so blind?
There must be something wrong with me. That’s why no one loves me.
“Sophie?” Roman’s voice breaks the silence. He’s right on the other side of the door, within arm’s reach, but I can’t save him…I can’t. My heart sinks into my stomach when the door knob rattles, but the door doesn’t open.
“Open the fucking door or I’ll kick it in. I know he is in there with you!” His accusation is not rational nor one I understand.
What?
“No one is in here with me Roman,” I try to convince him, but he can’t be reasoned with right now.
“I know he is in there, open the door so I can kill him. Did he touch you? Did you let him? I’m going to fucking kill him?”
“Roman, you’re scaring me. Please stop,” I whimper just before a loud bang makes me jump. The walls vibrating around me as Roman tries to kick in the door. Luckily this door is much sturdier than the flimsy dressing room door. Bang. Another kick and I’m shaking so hard that my teeth rattle together.
On the third bang the door flies open and Roman’s large frame fills the doorway. My heart stops when he takes a step into the small room. I look up at him, but I can’t see him. It’s a different person towering over me. A dangerous person…someone who is going to hurt me.
“Where is he?” His eyes move around the room like he’s searching for something, and then he leans down and grabs me, his fingers digging into my arms painfully. A scream rips from my throat, fear consuming every inch of my body as he smashes me against his hard chest.
“Did he touch you? Where is he Sophie?”
He crushes me to his chest and for a moment I just let him…I lean into his chest and pretend that everything’s okay…pretend that Roman is still everything I thought he was, my protector, my savior and my lover. I sob into his flesh as he holds me to him with a possessiveness that is both frightening, and loving. Then the moment passes and Roman’s pushing me away, holding me out at arm’s length. The warmth of his body leaves me, and I feel cold all over, down to the tips of my toes.
“Are you hiding him? Are you lying to me?” His hands wrap around my arms like iron shackles and before I can respond he starts shaking me. “Don’t fucking lie to me! Don’t you dare try and protect that bastard.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, just waiting for this nightmare to be over, when suddenly my back hits the wall, knocking all the air from my lungs. I feel the force of the blow in every bone in my body, but it’s not the pain of him slamming me against the wall that hurts most.
It’s the pain inside my bleeding heart. Then as if he was never there at all he’s gone. The spots where his fingers had dug into my skin are still tingling when I force my eyes open.
Roman is on the floor in the hallway now, his face pushed into the floor, while Ivan has his knee pressed between his shoulder blades, holding him in place. And even after everything, my first thought is to tell Ivan not to hurt him.
“Go outside and lock yourself in my car,” Ivan orders without so much as looking at me, but I can’t make my body move.
“Don’t hurt him please,” I whisper wanting to intervene.
“Are you serious right now?” He looks up at me as if I’ve lost my mind…and maybe I have.
I shake my head and shrug. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just don’t want him hurt. He didn’t mean to do this. Roman wouldn’t ever actually hurt me.”
“But he did Sophie, so go and get in the car, okay?” I don’t know if it’s because Roman hears his brothers voice or if it’s because he is pinned down to the floor, but he actually seems a whole lot calmer now. My limbs decide it’s time to move again and I slowly step out of the bathroom, past Ivan and Roman, and down the hall toward the front door.
