AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I do as Ivan asks and lock myself in his car. A short while later a second car pulls up beside me and I watch as Mac and Devin get out and walk into the house. Ivan walks out moments later unlocking the car with his key before he opens the driver side door and slides into the seat.
“I’m going to take you to my place. You can stay with us as long as you want. I won’t ever make you come back here again.”
“I love him…” I confess to Ivan, because what else is there to say? How else could I explain to him why I don’t want to see him hurt…why I don’t want Ivan to tell me that I don’t have to see him again. Even though it shouldn’t be, loving him is the only thing that still makes sense.
And I’m not going to give up on him even after all of this…
Chapter Eleven
Roman
It’s been two weeks since the worst day of my life happened, and still, the images haunt me as if they occurred yesterday. Every time I close my eyes, I hear the sound of Sophie crying, begging me to stop. Her trembling voice told me she was scared…scared of me, that image of her, looking up at me, fear in her beautiful blue eyes, will forever be embedded in my mind.
I’m not trying to forget any of it, though. The opposite, in fact. I force myself to relive that day. Everything I remember, I let it replay in my mind. I let the pain of what I did hit me over and over again, like waves crashing against the beach. It’s what I deserve.
I haven’t seen Sophie since that day, and I’m not sure I’ll ever see her again. I know there is no way she can possibly want to see me, let alone still be with me, not after what I did…after the way I treated her. There is nothing in this world that I could do to make up for my actions. No apology, no words, no actions. I can never take back that day or the things I did.
And still my heart yearns for her. I want to hold her in my arms, tell her how much I love her, tell her how sorry I am for choosing those stupid fucking pills over her.
“You need to eat something.” Mac appears out of nowhere next to my bed holding out a plate of food to me as if he expects me to eat it.
ml “Come on man, you’ve been cooped up in your room for two weeks now. You need to eat something, get some fresh air and for fuck sakes take a shower. This whole fucking room stinks.”
I shrug, I don’t really care, not anymore. “If I eat and take a shower will you leave me be? Just go home and don’t worry about me.”
“Sorry, no can do. First of all, you’re my best friend and I kinda like you, but also Ivan would kill me if I let you out of my sight and no offense but I value my life too much to step on your brothers toes.”
I roll my eyes. “I guess then I have no reason to eat or shower.”
Mac frowns. “Look everyone knows you didn’t mean to hurt her…”
I cut him off. “I don’t want your pity. I don’t want anyone’s pity. If you’re going to feel sorry for someone let it be Sophie. She had to endure the events of that day after already having been beat by people that were supposed to love her. I’m no better than those bastards.”
I feel sick to my stomach every second of the day. I can’t imagine what Sophie is going through. I can’t believe I was so fucking stupid, that I gave her up for a little high.
“Nobody pities you. I’m just telling you that you don’t have to act like you’re a fucking criminal who beats women. You fucked up, and you’ve learned from it. You can’t go back…all you can do is go forward.”
“And maybe that’s my problem Mac…maybe all I want is to go back.”
Mac sighs loudly as I turn away from him.
“Unless there is something else you want to say I suggest you leave.”
“Matter of fact there is…I canceled the fight for this weekend.”
“Fuck no!” I’m off the bed in a second. “I’m fighting.”
“Roman, you are in no shape to go into that ring.”
“And who the fuck are you to decide that?”
“I’m your friend…one that doesn’t want to see you get killed because your head isn’t in the right place.”
“See that’s where you’re wrong. This is the clearest my head has been in years.” Matter of fact I don’t even remember the last time my mind was this clear. I haven’t even taking as much as a Tylenol in two weeks, even though I had the headache of a lifetime after that fucking acid trip. I’ll never put shit into my body that doesn’t belong there.
