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“Everything’s going to be okay, Sophie. I fucked up. I gave you up for some stupid high but I’m never going to do that to you again. I’m never going to hurt you again, and I’m not going to let anyone else either. I’ll protect you, with a clear mind from this day forward.” Roman’s voice is filled with guilt, remorse, and maybe even a little pain as he tries to reassure me.
I know he means every word he says because for the last two weeks all he’s done is detox and sit inside his room. If he didn’t mean them then he would still be taking his pills, and I’d be nothing but a faded memory in his mind. Instead Ivan told me he was refusing to come out of his room, to eat or even to talk to anyone. He pleaded with Mac, begging him to see me so he could apologize and while I desperately wanted to go to him, I knew he needed time to take care of himself.
Now I feel like time has passed and all he needs is me, just as much as I need him.
We get to the house, and when I walk through the door, I almost feel like I never left. I instantly feel home again. There’s a slight tinge of the memories from that night in my mind, but I’m not afraid, just sad. Roman holds my hand in his, squeezing it tightly as if to say I’m here. I give him a reassuring smile.
We head into the kitchen where Dev offers everyone a beer. I decline as does Roman, and instead plants himself on the counter. I watch Mac as he pulls out his doctoring bag. The amount of stuff he has in that thing is insane. He doesn’t offer Roman anything for the pain, and instead gets to work cleaning his wounds. Once everything is sterile, he gets out the needle and thread and closes all the deep gashes on his face. Devin makes us something to eat while I sit and hold Roman’s hand since he still refuses to let go of me even for a second.
As soon as Roman is patched up and we’ve eaten something, Devin and Mac tell us goodbye and leave, leaving us all alone in this giant house. Nervous butterflies fill my belly. It’s not the first time I’ve been alone with Roman, but it’s the first time being alone with him in two weeks. Roman places the entire house on lockdown through the security system.
“You look tired,” Roman whispers.
“I am,” I admit sleepy. “You don’t look very alert yourself.”
“Yeah, I really need to take a shower though,” Roman announces as we enter his bedroom. He gives me a weary look as if he’s nervous about having me here. And I want to do is tell him he has nothing to worry about, because I know it was those laced pills that caused him to lose his mind and that it had nothing to do with the man he really is.
“Yeah me too.” My tiredness vanishes in an instant just thinking about getting into the shower with him. My eyes rake over his chiseled abs and muscled chest, my body reacting to the man before me as it always has. Even with the bruises starting to form on his skin, and the new stitches need pools deep inside me. As if a few scars could ruin is perfect body. Two weeks…that’s how long I’ve waited to touch him again, to kiss him, to have him inside of me.
“Are you sure about this Sophie? I’ve missed you beyond words, but that doesn’t mean things have to go back to normal. It doesn’t mean you have to pretend that you still want me.”
“I’m sure Roman…why would you think I wouldn’t want you anymore? I missed you so much. And yeah you made some mistakes, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. It doesn’t change what we have. I still want to be with you.”
His lips are on mine before I can say another word. He tells me more with this kiss than any words ever could, still it feels good when he pulls away to speak.
“I love you too. So much. I will spend the next hundred years proving to you how much I love you. I will never let anything come between us again. I hurt you, and I want you to know I never meant to. I want you to know every time I close my eyes at night, I see what I did. It will never happen again, Sophie. I promise.”
Tears well in my eyes. This is the first time he’s admitted his feelings out loud. “You didn’t have to say you were sorry, Roman. I already knew it. If you were anyone else, I would have second-guessed your apology, but I know what happened was an accident. It wasn’t your intention to hurt me.”
