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“Don’t know. I can’t feel much at the moment.”
Starting our bikes, we peel out of the lot and head for the club. My heart’s racing. The air hitting my open wounds stings, but it’s a sensation I welcome. It’s better than the constant ache of missing my wife.
I ride beside Leo as we turn off onto the road leading to the club, keeping watch through my side mirror for trouble. Once the prospect opens the gate for us,
Cas approaches as we park up and there’s no bracing ourselves for his reaction.
“Josie called.”
“I covered any damage before it kicked off.”
“She was happy enough with the payout. She wanted to let me know in case you needed backup, but apparently, you didn’t.”
He takes us in and exhales deeply, stepping back.
“It wasn’t about needing backup,” Leo tells him. “It was about—”
“I can guess what it was about. But in the future, you may not have the luxury of taking off on a whim and putting yourself in needless danger. Tonight could’ve turned out differently.”
As soon as he walks off, I light a cigarette.
“It doesn’t matter what he thinks. We took on eight Rat fucks, and we were the ones who walked away. That speaks volumes.”
“Hey, you don’t need to explain yourself,” I tell him. “You know I’ve always got your back.”
And I always will.
Chapter Seven
Cas
The sun has barely risen, but I can’t sleep. Leaving Alannah sleeping peacefully in our bed, I creep into the hall and notice Rayna’s door is cracked open. Remembering Holly telling Alannah about her going through a phase of being afraid of the dark, I ease it open and smile when I see her sleeping soundly in her bed. Her blonde curls are fanned out over the pillow, and a small smile graces her little face. Whatever she’s dreaming about, she’s enjoying it. I hope all her dreams are pleasant, always. She’s growing up so fast, reiterating how much I’m missing.
I’ve thought about dying too many times to count. A few were because I was damn close to taking my last breath. I’ve only had my sons and Lana to consider leaving behind, yet now I have Harper, Rayna, and a grandson on the way, as well as another possible grandchild, if Luca and Victoria decide to start a family. I’ve reached a point in my life I never thought I would. When I patched into the club, I fully believed I’d be in the ground by now. But here I am, and it has to be for a reason. I’ve been lucky, not having to choose between family and the club before, but it’s starting to feel like it’s time I do.
Hearing the door behind me creak open, I look over my shoulder to find Leo sneaking out of his nanny’s room. He goes to turn and catches me watching him. He’s more surprised to see me than I him.
“It’s not what it looks like,” he says, keeping his voice low.
I raise my brow. “I didn’t ask.”
“Fair enough.” He leans around me to check on Rayna before resting against the wall next to me.
“But I’m going to ask now. What’s going on with you two?”
Rolling his eyes, he grinds out, “She’s the nanny.”
“Sleeping with the nanny. That’s not cliché at all.”
“She has nightmares about her hands burning, and she sleeps better when we share a bed—that’s all.”
I nod. “She seems like a nice girl. Rayna loves her—”
“She could be everything, but she’s not India,” he admits.
“No one will ever be India. But son, you’re allowed to be happy again, and if that’s with Holly, you shouldn’t hold back.”
“I haven’t got time to be happy. And besides, I’m still not in the right head space to care for someone. She’s a good girl, and doesn’t deserve to live in a ghost’s shadow.”
