AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It’s not in me to let her go. The worse she gets, the more I hold on tighter. Having Harper in my life is the only thing I’ve gotten right, and I’ll do everything I can to get her better.
Chapter Two
Cas
Harper doesn’t sleep peacefully. She tosses and turns, mumbling incoherently. Every now and then, a tear will roll down her cheek and hit the pillow. But one thing I take notice of is that she never moves her hands off her belly.
My daughter is plagued with fear, and there’s nothing I can do to help her. A shiver runs through me, remembering the way she looked at me last night. Like I’m the one she needs to be scared of.
Rolling an unlit cigarette between my fingers, my leg bounces with agitation. How could I have gotten it so wrong with her? I promised to protect and be there for her. If I had kept my word, I would’ve seen for myself what JJ’s been hiding from us all. As hard as it is, though, I don’t blame him. She’s his old lady, and in his eyes, she’s his responsibility. As much as I wish he had come to me, I should’ve been the one to go check on her. There’s so much I should’ve done differently, and now those bad decisions are hitting me all at once.
I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of her since I said I’d watch over her an hour ago, when Jay had to talk with Slade and make preparations for her to check into Red Thorne Health Centre. It’s a six-hour drive from here, but if it means she’s safe and away from anyone who wishes us harm, it’s worth it.
Her eyes flutter open, and for the briefest of moments, she stretches, looking free from the pain she’s been feeling. It's when her arm sweeps over Jay’s side of the bed and finds it empty, she tenses, and the shit clogging her brain comes flooding back.
Sitting up, she shuffles up to the headboard when her gaze meets mine. “Where’s JJ?”
I hate how scared she sounds.
“He’s making preparations for you to get help. We’ve found you a place called Red Thorne Health Centre.”
There’s no point in lying to her. It’s not like she believes our lies anyway.
“No, no, no.” She jumps out of bed, keeping as much distance between us as she can. “No one understands. I don’t need help… I just need to go home.”
Heaving my ass off the couch, I toss the cigarette onto the table and move closer to her. It’s my first mistake. She recoils and hits the nightstand.
“Don’t touch me! I don’t want death getting inside of me.”
I stop in my tracks. Not knowing how to reach her terrifies me.
“You stopped taking your meds to protect the baby, right?”
Warily, she nods.
“Going to Red Thorne will keep the baby even safer.”
It’s not a lie. As we stare at each other, the tension in her shoulders starts to ease. Taking a gamble, I move closer.
“I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you, Harper. Whatever you need, I’m here.”
Her eyes are clouded with such sadness, the pain of it makes my heart ache. A heart that’s seen so many horrific things in its lifetime. A heart I thought had long ago hardened.
“What do you need, sweetheart?” I plead.
“I just want you to stay dead.”
I fall back, thankful for the couch softening my landing.
“You never stay dead,” she cries, gripping her hair as fat tears cascade down her cheeks. “You don’t understand. Death is everywhere, and at the top is you. You can’t see it, but I can.”
She paces, every step carefully measured as not to get close to me.
“I need you to stay dead, I need you to stay dead, I need you to stay dead…” she chants frantically.
Moving slowly, I get to my feet, doing what I can not to scare her any further.
“Okay,” I murmur, “I’ll stay dead. And this time, I won’t come back.”
