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Oh, that kiss.Talk about melting her brain and setting her body on fire.
But, Gabe was right. It was the last thing she needed. She cringed at the memory of him stopping the kiss. He’d barely touched her lips and the next thing she knew, she’d practically thrown herself at him, clinging to him.
Ugh.PJ rolled over again and pulled the sheet off her head, staring out at the sun through the drapes. She was mortified at how she’d behaved. He probably thought she was completely trashy. The littlest bit of compassion from a man—of pity, really—and she took that and ran with it, making it into something entirely different.
PJ hated to admit it, but she really was a complete idiot when it came to relationships with men. Her first relationship hadn’t even been a real relationship.
And she hadn’t had many relationships that were even close to serious since then, unless you count Kurt. And, oh, what a disaster that had been. She’d been fooled once again into thinking he cared for her.
She hadn’t been gullible enough to think it was love,yet. But, her feelings could have headed that way until she found out he wasn’t even remotely headed in the same direction.
PJ’s phone beeped on the nightstand, and she looked at the screen as her stomach clenched in a tight knot. She was almost afraid to have any connection to the outside world right now. She forced herself to look anyway, but not before she saw it was a text from Debra.
You need to look at Twitter. We’re on top of it, trying to get it shut down and releasing a statement talking about balancing your need for privacy while giving your fans access to you, yada yada. Take a look and we’ll touch base with you later.
PJ held her breath as she hit the small bird on her home screen and pulled up Twitter.
Jimmy’s Little Whorefilled her feed. Those words appeared over and over in what seemed like hundreds of tweets, complete with the hashtag #jimmyswhore. PJ clicked on the link in one of the tweets and was taken to a web page that showed several of her journal entries from her time with Jimmy Mondo.
Everything from the first touches of his hands on her body to the day she lost her virginity. Complete with all of her ramblings about how special she’d been to him, how much he’d loved her.
Of course, now, as an adult, she knew his reputation in the industry was despicable. It wouldn’t come as a huge surprise to anyone that she’d slept with him, although her young age at the time would probably shock them. And get him into deep trouble. She’d been fifteen. She couldn’t really blame them for calling her a whore.
PJ scrolled to the bottom. There were hundreds of comments. Some supporting her, telling her how much they loved her, and how disgusting he’d been to take advantage of her. Others calling her a slut, saying she’d probably seduced him, speculating about how she’d made her name in the industry, how she’d gotten her big break.
Still more wondered why Jimmy hadn’t been arrested, while others were angry that someone would steal her journal and release such private information.
PJ wished she could say she didn’t feel ashamed and humiliated. But she did. She hated the idea that people knew what she’d done, how she’d spread her legs at the mere promise of love.
She jumped at the sound of a knock on her door.
“Pru? You awake?” came Gabe’s voice softly through the door.
Gabe. PJ squeezed her eyes shut when she realized Gabe would be reading this stuff this morning, too. Gabe…her parents…Lydia…Ellis.Ugh.
“Yeah, I’m up. I’ll, um. I’ll be out in a minute,” she said.
“Okay. No rush. I’ve got some fruit cut up for breakfast and there’s cereal on the counter if you want it. Help yourself to anything. I’m going to head out to the beach for a run.”
“Thank you,” PJ said, trying to hide the relief in her voice. With the things he’d probably read about her today, she wasn’t in any rush to face him.
Her phone beeped and PJ glanced at the screen, afraid she’d see a blocked number again.Ellisshowed as the Caller ID. She clicked on her messages in case Ellis was passing along important info from either Lydia or Debra, as he often did.
As the lowest person in terms of seniority on the team of people closest to her, he often ended up playing the part of messenger and even gofer, when there wasn’t anyone else around.
At times, PJ felt Lydia pushed him around a bit too much, and PJ had talked to Lydia about it a time or two. Ellis was important to the team, whether Lydia wanted to view her brother that way or not.
It was also well known among them all that Ellis had a pretty strong, albeit one-sided, crush on PJ. She was flattered and considered him a friend, but hadn’t ever had feelings for him beyond that.
As she opened his messages, she almost regretted there was no spark between them. Ellis was faithful and supportive. He would probably never treat her the way Kurt had, and he certainly would never take advantage of someone so much younger than him the way Jimmy had. Ellis was just, deep down, a really good person. Why couldn’t she be attracted to him?
She frowned as images of Gabe filled her mind. His toned and tight body, his eyes as they bored into hers moments before his mouth captured hers…. She was attracted to Gabe Sawyer and she didn’t think he was a bad person. She knew he wasn’t the type of person to do what Jimmy did.
As for what Kurt had done? She didn’t think he’d be unfaithful like Kurt, but that didn’t mean he would want anything long term or exclusive. She’d seen enough pictures of him with models and celebrities on his arm to know he dated. A lot.
She also wasn’t sure he was what she needed right now. She couldn’t say why. Maybe it was just the fact she was so attracted to him that made him seem dangerous, in a way. She was so attracted to him, her veneer of control was slipping away—that couldn't possibly be good for her.
PJ read the string of messages from Ellis.
