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Are you hanging in there?
You’ve seen the news this morning, right?
Try to ignore it... They’re just trying to mess with your head.
She smiled, but there wasn’t much happiness in it. Of course Ellis would support her. He always did. But what did everyone else think? Even if they supported her now, would they still feel the same when they found out the rest of the story?
Thanx, E. I appreciate you! Just trying to rest right now and not pay attention to it until I have to:)
Talk about Queen of Denial.
Another text from Ellis came through.
Kurt keeps calling Lydia. He wants your number but she won’t give it to him.
Why would Kurt want to talk to her?
Thanks, she texted quickly, then slid off the bed and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. The last thing she wanted was to talk to Kurt.
She had just picked up an apple when a very angry, almost dangerous-looking Gabe stormed back in the house. His eyes were almost black as he glowered and held his phone out. It showed the website she’d just looked at moments before.
“Is it true?” He all but growled the words at her and PJ clutched the edges of her robe together. She thought about giving him a vague answer that neither confirmed nor denied, but she knew Gabe wouldn't put up with that.
She straightened her spine and met his eye when she spoke, forcing her words to come out strong and clear. “Yes. It’s true.”
PJ watched as the muscles in his jaw twitched, and she could see him grinding his teeth together. He looked at her for another minute and she could see the disgust in his eyes.
She didn’t look away. She was through letting people judge her. Her whole damn life was being splattered across every social media platform that had been invented. She didn’t need him —one of the only people she’d begun to think of as a friend—judging her too.
Before she could think of something to say, Gabe spun on his heel and went back the way he’d come, heading out through the patio doors and back onto the beach. PJ watched him jog down the beach as she sank onto one of the bar stools that lined the kitchen island. She should probably pack her bags and leave, but she didn’t know where to go, or how….
She could go to Susie and Brian’s. In fact, she probably should try to help them deal with the fallout she was sure would be hitting them soon.
But honestly, she didn’t know if they’d want her there. Probably not. They would want to deal with this as a family.
A family.
PJ went back in the house and showered, letting the hot water run down her body in waves, tilting her head back and feeling the water on her face. Maybe she should just go somewhere alone.
She could fly to Europe. Maybe rent a little place in Italy for a couple of days. No, that didn’t make sense. She’d end up sitting on a plane for most of her time off, not to mention the thought of going to the airport where she might be recognized sucked.
It wasn’t lost to her that she had no true friends to turn to right now. She had her team, and she could always go home to her parents, but with her life on the road the way she was all the time, she didn’t have the kind of friendships a person needed at a time like this.
Her team was wonderful and she loved her parents, but that wasn’t the same thing as having real friends to lean on. Ellis was younger than PJ, and he wasn’t exactly the kind of friend she could turn to for support at a time like this.
In theory, she and Lydia should be close. Their parents had been friends for years and they were only a few years apart in age. Since she’d hired Lydia as her tour manager, they saw each other all the time, but they hadn’t ever really bonded.
Lydia was frighteningly ambitious and career oriented. Which was great when she was running PJ’s tours, but the control and intensity Lydia needed to pull that off didn’t really translate into ‘girlfriend’ material.
PJ could rent a car and drive to that little spa she’d once gone to in upstate New York. That shouldn’t be too far from here and they could probably fit her in if she called ahead. They had been great about respecting her privacy the last time. It wouldn't be a bad place to go to stick her head in the sand.
She squeezed her eyes shut at the thought of having to go back on tour, even if it was almost a week away. PJ swallowed and thought again about walking away from it all.
She’d been thinking a lot about that lately. About just going out while she was still on top. And now the thought seemed to take hold more firmly in her head than ever before. Earlier, it had just been an occasional note in her journal, quickly dismissed when she thought of her fans.
But, now. Well, now things were different. Usually, if she got down or stressed out, she could work on her music, get out her keyboard or guitar and write something new. Or tweak something old.
Not in the last few days, though. She felt as though all the music had drained out of her. She didn’t have anything left to give. And, she hated that defeated feeling—it wasn’t something she was used to.
