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How long would it take her to realize how worthless I am and kick me to the curb?
Why hasn’t she done it already?
“You should go to New York.” Even though I know the words are right, they come out of my mouth sounding like a dead man learned to speak.
Paige doesn’t seem to notice, her tense shoulders relaxing as she gifts me with a relieved smile. “I really want to. I’ve missed my old job. It was everything I ever wanted to do.”
Her words ring loud and clear. New York is her place. Not New Orleans. This town will only ever be the city she grew up in, not the place she fell in love with.
And I won’t be the man she falls in love with.
“It’s better this way.”No, it’s not, my gut screams. But I suffocate the protest with the strength of my self-disgust. “We both knew this thing with us never really had a future.”
Paige rears back like I tried to hit her. “What?”
I push on, even though it feels like forcing my body through a fence made of barbed wire. “We had fun. But come on, Paige. Did you really think this was serious?”
“You’re my boyfriend.” She whispers the words like they’re a question as she stares at me from across the room.
I don’t deserve to be her boyfriend. Sooner or later, I’m going to fuck up again and probably land back in jail. That’s the kind of person I am. A screw-up.
A girl like her will find something better. Someone better.
“Yeah. We were dating. Now we’re not. No reason to make a big deal out of it.” I’m being a dick on purpose because I know if I let myself soften, I won’t be able to walk away from her.
“I don’t get it. You want to end things just because I’m interviewing for a job?”
She needs to leave. I need her gone before I beg her to stay. Standing up from the bed, I cross my arms and glare down at her. “Job, no job, I don’t care. I’m tired of being another risk you’re taking for the hell of it.”
Paige plunges her fingers into her hair as if she’s going to pull the silky strands from their roots. “You’re not making any sense.”
“Stealing cars. Running in dangerous neighborhoods. Adopting a pit bull. Dating an ex-con. See the pattern? I’m done with being the deadbeat boyfriend you rub in your parents’ faces. Find another way to piss them off.” I growl out the words, tasting them like poison on my tongue.
If I were to bet that Paige would burst into tears and run out of the house, I would’ve lost my money.
She doesn’t break down, she just freezes, wide eyes locked on me. Her sweet bubblegum lips have popped open, forming a delicate “o” that makes me want to swoop in and kiss her until she forgets all the stupid things I just said.
But I hold myself back. Because I’m bad for her. And she’s too much of a temptation for me.
“You’re an idiot.” The words fall from her mouth like she’s had an epiphany. I try not to flinch, knowing the end has come. Her blank expression morphs, not into sadness, but into anger. “I’m sorry my affection is so abhorrent to you, but if you think I’m using you as some kind ofscrew youto my parents then you need to get your head out of your ass.”
Paige stalks toward me, and I stumble back out of pure self-preservation. Still, she gets in close, scowling up at me. “You know what I think, Dash?”
Her saying my name almost breaks me, but I tighten my lips and shake my head.
“I think you’re a coward.” She leans to the side, reaching behind me. When she straightens up, the framed picture of her and Pumpkin is clutched in her hand.
“No—” The word is out before I can stop it. But the idea of her leaving with every trace of herself hurts worse than a head on collision.
Paige frowns at me, then down at the picture. Without warning, she chucks the frame to the ground, angling her throw enough that the gift slides partway under my bed.
“There,” she turns away, grabbing her shoes as she heads for the exit, “now it’s with everything else you pretend not to care about.”
I’m left standing there, still and miserable. Only when I hear Penelope roar to life do I crouch down to retrieve the picture. On impact, the glass cracked in a spiderweb formation, obscuring Paige’s face.
When I brush my thumb over the mess, a sharp sting pierces my skin, the fractured glass slicing me open.
I welcome the pain.
